Thursday, September 18, 2008

Football player gets busted driving moped; also plays D&D and puts on his sister's lip gloss

Fine, the D&D and lip gloss part isn't true, but Wisconsin linebacker Jonathan Casillas did get busted for being sloshed out of his mind while riding a moped. A fucking moped.
The alleged incident occurred on the morning of Aug. 24, less than a week before UW opened the season at home against Akron. A preliminary report showed Casillas had a blood alcohol level of .15. The legal limit in Wisconsin is .08.
C’mon, pal, you’re a football player. You are the poster child for all things tough and manly. You like meat and potatoes, 5 o’clock shadows and Steven Segal movies. Not mopeds. Mopeds are for Lloyd and Harry, Europeans and guys who use moisturizer.

You’re screwing it up for all of us, Jonathan. If you’re gonna ride your moped, don’t get caught, dammit. We hope you weren’t drinking wine coolers that fateful night. Or wearing strappy sandals and listening to Collective Soul.

6 comments:

GMoney said...

I think everyone's BAL in Wisconsin is .15.

Eric said...

Scooters are everywhere on the UW campus and everyone rides them. There are literally 1000's of scooters around and a lot of them are used year round (yes, even in winter you see people on them).

JMC said...

WHAT an idiot

Bazooka Jones said...

Here (Univ. of Maryland) the only students that do ride mopeds on campus are football and basketball players.
It's a bitch getting around campus by car/parking near where you're trying to go, and everyone here [that isn't a hippie] would love to ride a scooter instead of walk or ride the campus shuttle.

But coincidentally, the "high profile" campus athletes are the only ones that have them...

Eric said...

I agree that's it stupid he was riding a scooter drunk.

It's funny when you see a football or basketball player driving down the road on one though. You either have someone really tall or just really big on these tiny little scooters.

I know the Kohl Center (UW's hockey/basketball arena here) doesn't have much parking, but they do let the athletes park their scooters near the loading dock.

Blackmoncfti said...

WHAT an idiot