Wednesday, September 03, 2008

Dr. Williams, Medicine Man

This is a funny article. And it's about sports. So we wanted to put our stamp on it, FJM style.

The pre-algebra teacher was just making small talk when he approached Dolphins running back Ricky Williams on the star's first day of school at Nova Southeastern University last week.

Three things:

1. Ricky Williams is back in school. Wonder what he wore to his first day of class.
2. Nova Southeastern University is a place of higher learning. Really. This is not a joke. Seriously.
3. We took pre-algebra in seventh grade. Just saying.

Yes, Williams is just a regular student these days, apparently unrecognizable to dozens of students and his teacher as he pursues an undergraduate degree he never got during his tenure at the University of Texas.

Going back to school is important. Nova Southeastern University. One more time. Nova Southeastern University. Probably has a great business school.

Perhaps the most intriguing reason, though, is Williams' return to school. Currently enrolled in a pre-algebra class and a writing class, Williams only devotes two hours per week on the evening of his off day from the Dolphins.

In "writing class," Williams is learning the difference between nouns and verbs.

Next semester, he'll become a full-time student, needing 74 more credits to graduate. But he doesn't plan to stop there. Part of his reason for wanting to stay in South Florida is his desire to enroll in Nova's medical school.

Surely a top-tier program.

Williams wants to become a doctor, and Nova has a program that will allow him to study Osteopathy.

This is not going towards medicinal marijuana. Uh uh. No way.

These are obviously high aspirations,

See, not going towards medicinal marijuana.

but Williams said he realized he was gifted in the field of holistic medicine, which is encouraged in Osteopathy, during his world travels.

Holistic medicine, n.: a philosophy of medical care that views physical and mental aspects of life as closely interconnected and equally important approaches to treatment.

World travels refer to the time he traveled the world. He may or may not have smoked a joint that was, "sturdy enough to prop open a door."

''I like seeing people feel better, and I know what it feels like to deal with pain,'' Williams said.

He is in no way referring to medicinal marijuana. Absolutely not. No dope. Drugs are bad. DARE.

Whatever happens after his career, though, is not what the Dolphins necessarily care about.

Be a doctor. Be a monk. Smoke some doobies. It's all good, brah.

If Williams and Brown can remain healthy -- and if Williams can continue to show his current level of dedication to football -- the controversial star said he believes the Dolphins are on the right track to success and he can help them get there.

Here's to 3-13, bitches!

Then, Williams' teacher might start to know his name.

If 4x = 8, what is the value of x?


GMoney said...

Thurgood Jenkins tried the exact same thing in Half Baked. Getting a janitor job at a hospital to steal weed will only end up with you getting into a shoot-out with Samson, smarty-pants.

JMC said...

wow. This guys is unreal.

Anonymous said...

It's SO crazy & horrible that an athlete would actually want a degree. OMG, he must be some kinda idiot to think he can sit in a classroom & learn stuff! Ambition? Aspirations? Screw that! Who needs the headache? Helping people feel better won't cover the damn spread! What kind of asinine idea is that? What a poser!

Get a life, people.

Anonymous said...

Well, as funny as the medical marijauna references are, you are pretty far off about Nova. Although you have never heard of it, it is a very well respected school. Secondly, Osteopathy is a truly legitimate course of study. Its the core medical school for Michigan State and OK State. D.O.'s are not "gurus" of any sort.

Still a funny comment though.

The Big Picture said...

thanks for the heads up about Nova. Don't know too much about it being on the other coast, and, naturally, made a negative assumption.

Nickhm said...

Maybe I'm just a fan of a guy getting a second (or third or fourth) chance, but I think this post was pretty mean-spirited. Give the guy some credit for going back to school.

Anonymous said...

Nova Southeastern has a nationally ranked Business School, called the H. Wayne Huizenga School of Business. That's Huizenga as in founder of Waste Management, Blockbuster, and AutoNation (all Forbes 500 cos.) Also, avg. salary of a graduate from NSU's med school is around $325,000. I'm not angry or even an NSU alum, just think sloppy reporting is weak.

Eric said...

Why do you have to make fun of Ricky for wanting to get an education?

What's so wrong about that? And maybe his algebra and writing class are pre-requisites for taking something else. Oftentimes, classes don't transfer and you have to start at the basic level.

I realize that you're trying to get bigger blogs to link to your posts, but come on, leave Ricky alone.

Anonymous said...

Osteopathic medicine is purely for those who couldnt get into a real medical school. but good luck ricky, i am impressed with your desire to learn.

D.Y. said...

When I first read this blog post, I was going to leave a message about how NO ONE deserves to be mocked for going back to school, and how the writer of the blog was some ignorant prick, but it seems the comment block has already stated this. Props to the masses. Shame on SI for linking to this blog for humor. What's funny about a dude living his live & getting an education? I know a lot of guys that had to take pre-college classes who went on to master's degrees within 6 years!! My guess is the writer of this blog has a BA in business management from some shit state school, and still thinks he deserves more than his life sucking middle management gig.

Anonymous said...

You're an asshole for making fun of someone going back to college.

Anonymous said...

lets make jokes about someone trying to better themselves.. ha ahha
you took pre algebra in seventh grade. oh hoot and howl lol so funny

this is the problem with the world today. STOP phukcing judging people.

where'd you go to school genius?
You write a blog, wow your helping the world so much

phuck off douchebag

Anonymous said...

I got to give props to Ricky Williams here. Just because he's an uber-talented pro athlete does not mean he doesn't have enough depth to engage in introspection and spirituality. Obviously, it ain't all bullshit since by all account he has re-dedicated himself to football and trying to finish his degree.

Hey mang...Parcells thought enough of him to give him an extension. Kudos to Ricky Williams for trying to get his life together. Obviously he's done a lot of growing up unlike the author of this blog.

Anonymous said...

I can't believe SI would link to this lame blog. Bravo to you Ricky for going back to school. Nova is an accredited university with a good reputation- not some community college as this guy would like you to think. Even if it was a community college, how on earth can you bust a guy for wanting an education???? I don't care what you took in the 7th grade- 10 years out of school and you need a little refresher. Shame on you SI!!!!

Anonymous said...

Whomever wrote this is an asshxle... he/she surely must be an Ivy League grad.

Anonymous said...

what beneficent bet casino
unique casino las vegas
new facebook poker achievements
on house realize casinos no deposition required
unattached short-listed casinos
poker mont blanc
multiplayer essential casino
indian casino gambling rules
ticket redemption video slots
the overdone casino biloxi
classes scholarship run around casino games
free advice sweet depression machines
soaring eagle casino mt pleasant michigan
free casino lolly bonus code
channel machine tournament strategy
online casinos hazard mesh-work casino
aureate palace casino memorabilia
articles tennessee sweepstake exhibition
download jackpot signer slit gadget casino
what best hazard casino
handheld hydraulic hollow power
las vegas casino portrayal
online casinos bet net casino
massachusetts state tombola results
nicest bonuses casino
rushmore casino coupon
mega millions raffle results
modish york recent york casino las vegas nv
worst online casino
october 4 2003 california super lotto results

Anonymous said...

привет, меня зовут дима и ссылку[url=]. [/url]

Anonymous said...

Homeopathic medication is often a natural type of healing!
[url=]homeopathy medicine[/url]

Anonymous said...

Homeopathic medication is mostly a natural kind of healing!
[url=]homeopathic remedies for acne[/url]

Anonymous said...

Homeopathic medication is definitely a organic form of healing!
[url=]homeopathy jobs[/url]

Anonymous said...

Just popping in to say nice site.