Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Josh Hamilton still can't help us find any worth in the Home Run Derby

Good. Josh Hamilton hit 28 first-round home runs and nearly hit them to New Jersey. Fantastic. It's even better because in a world where we seem to discourage second chances, we're all happy to feel good about a guy that used to have a drug problem, if you can call cocaine a problem.

But regardless of the first-round fireworks put on by Hamilton, the Home Run Derby is a combination of worthless and boring. Not only is it flawed -- Hamilton hit 35 homers to winner Justin Morneau's 22 and fucking lost! -- but it's unbelievably repetitive and lacks the star power that it once had. Dan Uggla, Evan Longoria and Grady Sizemore don't exactly carry the same home run-hitting weight that Mark McGwire, Sammy Sosa and Barry Bonds do ('roids or not).

You think about the Home Run Derby in relation to the Slam Dunk Contest in that they are both the biggest non-game gimmicks before an exhibition game with good players. And while we'd pass on the Dunk Contest in favor of Family Guy re-runs, at least that, unlike the Derby, has creativity and variety.

Good for Josh Hamilton getting a standing ovation by New Yorkers. We're happy for him and his flame tattoos. He'll be a champion in everyone's eyes, which is about as important as who wins today's All-Star game.

But the moral of the story: play baseball and develop a coke problem.

7 comments:

GMoney said...

I actually like the way they showcase the young guys in the Derby. We all know what A-Rod or Big Papi can do, it's good to be introduced to Dan Uggla or Hamilton or Longoria.

Justin Morneau is a vampire.

Bokolis said...

The only allure was to see if someone could put it on the subway tracks. But, the format chases away most of the top talent. Three rounds is too much. If a cat gets gassed from swinging a bat, that should be a tip off. They should have went back in after every round to get at Giambi's stash (not to be confused with -stache).

Anonymous said...

I concur that the derby is a complete waste of time, but i was surprisingly excited by last night's, just because of Hamilton (who for the record was smoking crack-cocaine).

But I'm still waiting to hear how much of said cocaine was inside that breifcase that Volquez put on homeplate mid-derby.

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Anonymous said...

but according to joe "when i played second base in the majors" morgan hamilton's problem isn't what matters. that arrogant fuck actually downplayed hamilton's addiction--perhaps old joe needs to hit the pipe!

Unknown said...

Hamilton told how he overcame drug abuse to become an All-Star at length Monday afternoon to a horde of national media, then added another chapter with a record 28 first-round homers en route to the finals of one of baseball’s showcase events.
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Unknown said...

Three rounds is too much. If a cat gets gassed from swinging a bat, that should be a tip off.The easy answer: She has the look of a politician's wife. We can totally see her bringing the Oval Office to its knees. The more in-depth answer: Storm has popped out three children.


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