Monday, August 04, 2008

Unsolved Mysteries: Mickey Tettleton

Unsolved Mysteries was one of those TV shows that you had no interest watching, but somehow you ended up glued to Lifetime, longing for more Robert Stack. Many sports figures haven't had the sad fates of some of the cases on Unsolved Mysteries, but there are those athletes who make you say, "where the fuck is that guy?" Many mysteries are unsolved -- that's why they're mysteries -- but with your help, we could solve them.

MISSING
Mickey Tettleton

AGE: 47
DOB: 9/16/60
HEIGHT: 6'2"
WEIGHT: Like a brick wall
HAIR: Light brown
EYES: Diamonds

Mickey Tettleton was known for being an offensive-minded catcher and being able to crush the ball when he made contact, which was rare because he struck out all the fucking time. But he will be remembered as a big-leaguer for his unique, upright batting stance and a wad of chewing tobacco he kept in his cheek.

Tettleton played 14 years, spending time with Oakland, Baltimore, Detroit and Texas. He hit 30+ homeruns three-straight years with the Tigers, from 1991-93.

Tettleton was last seen in a Texas Rangers uniform, where he played 17 games in 1997. Many witnesses saw him driving away from the Ballpark in Arlington at approximately 11 p.m. on September 3, 1997. He was driving a black Dodge RAM pickup with big red dice hanging from the rear view mirror.

An artist rendering, which takes takes age, weathering and time into account, has Tettleton looking like this today.

Tettleton is large and looks like a former ballplayer. He will likely be wearing a smile, but may have a hole where his cheek once was, making it tough to smile or do anything with his mouth. He has no known piercings. He has a tattoo of Tucan Sam on his left ankle and a heart with a K in the center on the small of his back.

If you have any information about the disappearance of Mickey Tettleton or know anyone who knows where the fuck he is, please leave a comment or call the Unsolved Mysteries hotline.

33 comments:

GMoney said...

In his batting stance, he also held his bat almost parallel to the ground which was astounding. The world needs more guys named Mickey.

Anonymous said...

I agree. Can you think of one Mickey that isnt a badd ass? You have: Tettelton, Mantle, Gilley, Thompson, Rourke, and Mouse

Anonymous said...

sorry double rods: morandini. he does have a sweet mullet though.

Mark Bledsoe said...

He lives in Oklahoma, his son is a QB for one of the Norman teams, and is being recruited by colleges.

kamagra said...

Well I remember I used to watch that show... actually it was very interesting, I guess that-s where I got a strange inclination to the mysteries and conspiracy theories. if69

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