Thursday, August 14, 2008

Adam Jones to "Make it Rain" for charity

Adam "Pacman" Jones is infamous for making it rain in the strip clubs. Now that old grumpy-pants Goodell won't let him play that way anymore, he's decided to take matters into his own hands, and Make it Rain for charity.

Roger Goodell has not officially reinstated Jones, although he's being allowed to practice after his trade to the Dallas Cowboys. As part of his court sentencing for his various offenses, and in an attempt to appease Goodell, he's decided not only to donate money to charity, but to start his own.

Staying true to himself, Jones has started the Make it Rain foundation, an organization that provides money for cloud-seeding over drought ravaged areas of North Texas. In a somewhat ironic turn of events, he hired 4 "dancers" from Diamond's Cabaret in Dallas to participate in an introductory press conference.

The Make it Rain Foundation will use silver iodide dispersed by a plane bearing Make it Rain, Dallas Cowboys, and Diamond's Cabaret logos to create ice crystals that will induce rain. Drought conditions have caused major problems for the agriculture industry in Texas in recent months.


GMoney said...

Everything about this story sounds fake.

Mr. Goodell said...

I am going to suspend him so bad, my dick is hard right now.

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