Olympic outfits are pretty hot, athletes in them are not

We, the model citizens of appropriateness and good judgment, would never ever take note of a female athlete’s body or the clothing that accentuates it. Not us. You must be thinking of someone else. Lots of perverts out there.

That’s why we have not even remotely noticed that many of the Olympic events showcase scantily-clad athletes. Women, namely. Scantily-clad women. We like women.

Track, gymnastics and beach volleyball. Each event features women in revealing attire, skin-tight clothing or little covering at all. This concept is good. Because, as said before, we like women. We like good-looking women.

Thing is, many of the aforementioned events feature athletes who are
A. Not hot
B. Old
C. Illegal

These are not traits we desire in women who are half naked. When we look at these women and get a little half-woody in our trousers we feel like perverts. We don’t like perverts. We like women.