It's a good thing for Phillies fans that Double-A has become the new breeding ground for the top talent in baseball because the Phils Triple-A affiliate, Lehigh Valley, is off to, well, a slow start.
So we want to point you toward those International League standings where, in scenic Allentown, Pa., the Lehigh Valley IronPigs are off to kind of a rough start:Must be lots of fun to be in the clubhouse right now. Wait, what's that you say? Kris Benson's on the team?! Wow! Get him to cheat on Anna and it will be lots of fun in that clubhouse.
As in 5-29.
Amazingly, one pitcher -- Brian Mazone -- has four of their five wins. Which means the other 14 men who have gone to the mound for those IronPigs are a combined 1-26.
But here's the good news: Their magic number is 14.
Not to make the playoffs, obviously. To avoid going down as the worst team in minor-league history.
If they win just 14 more games -- which would compute to a 19-125 season -- they would guarantee themselves a higher winning percentage than the late, great 1951 Granite Falls Graniteers of the Western Carolina League.
That team roared to the finish line, losing its last 33 games in a row to finish at 14-96.
[Un-sexy update]: The Bensons got divorced. Like two years ago. Fuck.
[SEXY UPDATE!!!!]: Our boy Frigidevil points us towards this fantastic news!