Tuesday, May 13, 2008

...And the Lost feature film will come out in 2025

We're incredibly stoked about the new Indiana Jones movie -- we even re-watched the trilogy on USA last weekend.

But it's another example of a bizarre trend of movies being made about 15 years too late. Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade was made in 1989, so to wait nearly 20 years to make the next one in the saga seems strange. And now Harrison Ford is like 80.

Speed Racer was a show in the late 60s and again in the late 90s that, from what we've heard, was never exactly popular. It'd be like making a How I Met Your Mother movie in 30 years.

Also in this wave of movies made too late: Live Free or Die Hard, Nancy Drew, Alvin and the Chipmunks, Shaft, Transformers, Get Smart.

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Been saying "good deal" a lot lately. Not really sure what the fuck that even means.

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To say the NBA Playoffs are long and boring would be like beating Barbaro or Eight Belles. (Get it?! Get it?!)

Believe it or not, we like the seven-game format; we think it ensures the best team will win. And as we've written plenty times before, we like sports justice.

But the time between games is absolutely absurd. When the Lakers and Jazz play Sunday in Utah and wait until Wednesday to play in LA is aggravating. Last we checked, it takes about, oh, two hours to fly from Utah to LA.

Conspiracy to rest Kobe's back?

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Fun game: to sleep with Erin Andrews -- one night, no strings attached, no anal -- how far would you go? Would you...

-Give up red meat for a year?
-Lose (without pain) your left small toe?
-Go to work naked?
-Not have any other sex the rest of the year?
-Watch an entire hockey game?
-Admit to liking Jack Black?

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We're admittedly frugal at times. But nothing fucking grinds our gears like paying for parking. Paying for a motherfucking space next to a curb. Or on a giant, flattened slab of concrete with white lines. Ridiculous.

And we're not talking about paying for parking at like a game or concert or something. But like on a fucking city street.

Absolutely outrageous. Not only is gas $4 a gallon, they bend you over when you reach your destination and stick a parking meter in your ass.

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Nothing about getting a parking meter stuck in your ass sounds pleasant. Except you may then start shitting coins, which, we suppose, could have its perks.

10 comments:

rstiles said...

To the Erin Andrews question....go without sex for a year...shit, I'm on a drought anyhow so what is the difference

Steve from Topeka said...

Other than go to work naked, I could live with the others.

GMoney said...

I would take that aforementioned parking meter in the ass daily for a year for the chance at EA.

I, too, watched the entire Indiana Jones marathon on Sunday. Is Kate Capshaw (Temple of Doom) the worst actress ever???

JMC said...

I could definitely watch a hockey game for a shot with EA. I'd even admit to liking Jack Black (because Tenacious D is pretty awesome). And stiles stole my thunder... I was gonna say "I'd probably go the whole year without sex anyway..."

Chris said...

Good Deal

Chris said...

For a shot at EA...all of the above

Bokolis said...

When you say "any sex," would that also include the solo variety. I couldn't do without that. After slamming EA, I'd have to figure that I'd be poised to go on the MOTHER OF ALL HOT STREAKS, so I wouldn't want to give that up.

I could take all of the rest, but wouldn't. Not to rain on all the fun, but I'm well past the point of doing anything, including sex, on anyone else's terms.

EA just turned 30...damn, that's broad territory. Is she still roaming the streets (i.e., single)? As Baggage Accumulation Rate (BaggAR) increases exponentially once women hit 28, there has to be some serious baggage there.

Bokolis said...

If you hate parking, come to NYC. This muthafucka wants to charge us just to come into the city.

NFL Adam said...

That Erin Andrews thing seems fun. Kind of like the thing you would debate about in a bar. Somebody should do a regular feature like that.

pcsolotto said...

I agree with you about these. Well someday Ill create a blog to compete you! lolz.