Tuesday, May 06, 2008

Barbaro 'just tryin’ to get by' in Horsey Heaven

Trust us when we say this: Horsey Heaven might not be as rosy as you think. We have proof!
Hey The Big Picture! Wassup!? It’s me, Barbaro. I saw what you wrote about Eight Belles yesterday and decided to stop by, say hi and set the record straight: Horsey Heaven is a fucking sausage fest. I’m just tryin’ to get by.

You think, “Oh now that Barbaro has a foxy filly up here he’s all set to make some little Barbaros.” But it ain’t like that.

I’ve got some serious competition, bro. Just ‘cause I’m all famous and shit you forget about the other stallions that died racing just like me. Funfair ate it at the Breeders’ Cup Mile in 2005, so he has an extra year of experience. Then there’s Pine Island who came up after the '06 Breeders’ Cup Distaff. And don’t forget about George Washington who ate shit at the Breeders’ Cup Classic in '07.

So if you think I’m going to be “tappin’ that ass” or “hittin’ it” or whatever it is you jackoffs say, think again. I’ve barely got a word in to Belles. And I see the way she looks at the other horses. It’s like I don’t even exist.

And maybe I don’t want Belles. You ever think about that, dipshits? I don’t need no second-place horse. Besides, the way we keep droppin’ on the track, another filly will be up here in no time. I’ll land me a winner.

Sorry if I came off rude or disrespectful. Things just aren’t what you might expect. But good will prevail. I will prevail. Because I am Barbaro.

Take care, The Big Picture.

Warm regards,
So that’s that. Call us corrected.

1 comment:

GMoney said...

It's good to hear that Barbaro is doing well.