Thursday, September 07, 2006
Now this isn't your typical DUI
It must be drunk driving week or something.
Yesterday we talked about the San Jose Sharks' Mark Bell who had a felony hit-and-run the other day. Now today comes a story of Detroit Lions defensive line coach Joe Cullen and his drunken escapades.
Cullen was arrested twice in the past two weeks -- one on suspicion of drunk driving, the other...wait for it...for driving nude!
This is your cue to say, "What the Fuck?" Really, what the fuck?!
Driving nude? We can only imagine what he was doing. Their isn't much explanation for why Cullen was nude, but the Lions say that alcohol was involved.
No shit. It's not like Cullen was sober and listening to Bonnie Raitt and felt inclined to take off his clothes.
Though even if he was loaded, what could possibly provoke a grown man from taking off his clothes and driving with it all hanging out? He was apparently alone in the car, so maybe he was like, "Aw hell, there's nothing on the radio..."
Was he coming on to the officer? Likely not, though that would sure make for a funny story.
We've talked about some strange, offbeat stories on this little website, but this one may take the cake.
Cullen, of course, apologized to his family, friends and the organization -- not like Matt Millen has never driven naked. But what is his family thinking? Just imagine his kids hearing how their father is a fucking oddball. Really, just bizarre.
Apparently Cullen had some alcohol-related problems last year which got him fired from Ole Miss. If he gets fired by the Lions, his next job will surely be in the Adult Film Industry.
In other news: Anibal Sanchez threw the first no-hitter in Major League Baseball since Billy Chapel's for the Tigers.