Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Idiot Coach Goes on Trial


How did we miss this? HOW DID WE MISS THIS? Wait, maybe we wrote about this before... checks The Big Picture archive... How in the WORLD did we miss this?!?!?

Well, it seems as if this story slipped past The Big Picture sensors. On second thought, this story first popped up before The Big Picture existed. Maybe that's why we missed it. Maybe you didn't miss it, but if you did, get ready to be disgusted:

Mark Downs, idiot, is going on trial, and guess what he's accused of? Bribing an 8 year old T-Ball player to bean his autistic teammate. Seriously. We wish that this was one we made up. Actually, we'd be pretty frightened of ourselves if we came up with this one. Real or imaginary, this is bad news.

The worst part is that this dude wasn't just some idiot overzealous parent, he was the coach. THE COACH! Why would a coach want one of his own players to get hurt? So he wouldn't be able to play of course. See in little league there's this pesky mandatory play rule. Get the kid hurt and you won't have to stick him in right field for 2 innings. It's strange to imagine how the conversation went...

-Hey Keith?
-Yeah coach?
-Do me a favor.
-Uhm, ok.
-Warm up with Harry over there, and uh, bean him in the head.
-What? No!
-C'mon kid, we gotta win today and Harry sucks. Plus he's retarded.
-But that's mean.
-There's 25 bucks in it for you.
-Okie dokie.

Can't say much to defend the kid either, but at least he's come to his senses and agreed to testify against the coach.

Now we know that there are a lot of crazy, stupid, alcoholic parents living vicariously through their children who take little league way too seriously. But this has got to be the lowest of the low. Parents fighting eachother, parents fighting the umpires, parents fighting the coach - that's pretty bad. The coach paying an 8 year old 25 bucks to hit his teammate? Terrible. Here's hoping this jackass goes to prison. Preferably a Turkish one. And part of his sentence should be that he has to watch the video of J-Mac once a day.

In other news: The refs in the Monday Night Chargers-Raiders game just gave Randy Moss the most ridiculous taunting penalty of all time.

-Jameson Costello

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I DO NOT AGREE THAT THE ANYONE SHOULD HAVE BEEN HIT!!!! But God you people are nuts. Sitting there and saying nasty stuff about Mark just because a Keith said Mark told him to do it....and its the truth because kids never lie. Talk to the kid in real life and find out he is a real a-hole and the BIGGEST liar about everything.....just ask any rational adult who has had to deal with him. He went to school after the verdict was read bragging about what he did and would have hit the poor kid again because he hated him and was glad he did it. So thanks jury people for ruining a mans family because some kid decided he did not want to get in trouble so he blamed it on someone else.

wjackalope said...

um? is anonymous serious? Is anonymous the coach, searching for information about himself on the internet and coming across this? wow. The blogging world is a crazy place.