Let's go bowling

Start forming that ass groove on your couch football fans because bowl season is about to begin!

The amazing bowl season kicks off with a gem tonight in the New Orleans Bowl between Southern Miss and Arkansas State. Those born yesterday could tell you that this game is one for the ages. My palms are sweating in anticipation for kickoff which is a mere 45 minutes away.

Ironically, the New Orleans Bowl is not being played in New Orleans this year, but rather in nearby Lafayette, La. So why not call it the Lafayette Bowl then? At least it would sound like something from the Civil War.

Speaking of creative names for the bowls, there are some new ones this year that have really blown my socks off.

Contributing to the already popular GMAC Bowl and MPC Computers Bowl, we now have the Poinsettia Bowl, Champs Sports Bowl, and the kicker, the Meineke Car Care Bowl.

I mean, what the fuck?

What happened to the Copper Bowl? And the Citrus Bowl actually being called the Citrus Bowl opposed to the Struggling Credit Card Company Bowl? (Not the Discover Bowl silly, the Capital One Bowl...eventhough the Discover Bowl sounds pretty cool. Maybe I'm on to something here!).

These bowl games pit lousy teams against lousier teams until somebody comes out on top and can brag about going 7-5. It's really pretty sad. The seats are empty, the broadcasters are bored (rightfully so) and the players are more excited about the free gifts they get than actually playing in the meaningless game.

I suppose I could write how a playoff system would be the answer to these worthless games, but that idea's more worn out than Fred Smoot's double-headed dildo.

Since we're stuck with the current system, you may as well make the most of the New Orleans of Lafayette.com Bowl.

In other news: Desperate for better ratings, ABC has decided to drop next week's Monday Night Football game and instead show reruns of "8 Simple Rules."