It's a shocker: Bush to turn pro

There are reports that USC junior running back Reggie Bush is turning pro.

No shit.

In fact, nobody who knows anything sort of related to football or college or Trojans (condoms included) saw this move coming.

Not even the Houston Texans, who sources say, are a professional team, imagined that Bush would turn pro. They've just been throwing games to minimize the chances of a heart-wrenching loss.

ESPN analyst Mel Kiper Jr. will probably say that Bush will be a second-round pick because he's a bit under sized. But Mel Kiper Jr. is a fucking moron -- so conventional wisdom suggests that Bush will be the top-pick in April's draft.

But where will he go?

Well, that may be determined on New Year's Day when the Reggie Bowl will be played. The San Francisco 49ers play the Texans and the winner could very well earn the first pick and the right to draft Bush. Look for many turnovers, more missed field goals and enough drops that it would make Seattle Seahawks' receivers jealous.

In other news: No satire here today. The University of Washington women's volleyball team (yeah, you read right) looks to become National Champions. They play top-seeded Nebraska (ESPN2, 6 ET). Go Dawgs!