Thursday, December 22, 2005

What Santa's bringing for the Bowl Season


While bowl games may be meaningless for the fans, they most definitely aren't for the players. Not only do they get a paid vacation, they get all sorts of free crap. Thanks to Rivals.com for the info and to the Mighty MJD for the idea.

New Orleans Bowl
Southern Miss 31, Arkansas State 19
Gift package:
• New Orleans Bowl Championship ring
• New Orleans Bowl Championship watch
The Big Picture Grade: F Gifts are as worthless as the game.

GMAC Bowl
UTEP 13, Toledo 45
Gift package:
• Luggage
• Commemorative football
• Commemorative watch
• Attache case
The Big Picture Grade: D- What the fuck is an attache case?

Pioneer Pure Vision Las Vegas Bowl
BYU vs. California
Dec. 22, 8 p.m., ESPN
Gift package:
• iPod Nano
• Oakley watch
• Commemorative shirt and hat
• 1-year subscription to ESPN The Magazine
• Tickets to see Blue Man Group
The Big Picture Grade: B I'm all about the Blue Man Group. Wonder if Mormons are allowed to see it though.

San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl
Colorado State vs. Navy
Dec. 22, 10:30 p.m., ESPN2
Gift package:
• 4 GB iPod Mini
• $15 music gift certificate
• Fossil watch
• Commemorative sweatshirt, t-shirt and hat
The Big Picture Grade: B I'll take the iPod and upload that University of Miami rap song on it.

Kansas vs. Houston
Dec. 23, 8 p.m., ESPN
Gift package:
• 7-inch portable DVD player
• Backpack and watch
• Commemorative workout shirt and football
The Big Picture Grade: C- Watching Gigli on the DVD player will be more entertaining than the actual game.

Sheraton Hawaii Bowl
Nevada vs. UCF
Dec. 24, 8:30 p.m., ESPN
Gift package:
• Oakley sunglasses
• Sports jacket and backpack
• Disposable camera, sandals, beach towel and lei
• Aloha shirt, plus two more shirts
The Big Picture Grade: F What's the deal with the "two more shirts."

Motor City Bowl

Memphis vs. Akron
Dec. 26, 4 p.m., ESPN
Gift package:
• Commemorative watch
• Commemorative football
• Luggage
The Big Picture Grade: F Grade gets bumped to a C if Matt Millen fits in the new suitcase.

Champs Sports Bowl

Clemson vs. Colorado
Dec. 27, 5 p.m., ESPN
Gift package:
• Sony camcorder
• Sports watch
• Bowl beach towel and hat
The Big Picture Grade: C+ Camcorder makes up for having to play in this game.

Insight Bowl
Arizona State vs. Rutgers
Dec. 27, 8:30 p.m., ESPN
Gift package:
• Sony PSP
• Bulova watch
• Commemorative football, fleece blanket, hat
The Big Picture Grade: B+ ASU vs. Rutgers in NCAA '06 on the new PSP will be more lopsided than the actual game.

MPC Computers Bowl

Boise State vs. Boston College
Dec. 28, 4:30 p.m., ESPN
Gift package:
• Digital camcorder
• Various commemorative gear
The Big Picture Grade: B- Commemorative gear is pretty cool.

MasterCard Alamo Bowl
Michigan vs. Nebraska
Dec. 28, 8:00 p.m., ESPN
Gift package:
• XBox 360
• Fossil watch
• Commemorative mini-helmet
• Sling bag
The Big Picture Grade: A- XBox 360 is hotter than Eva Longoria.

Emerald Bowl

Georgia Tech vs. Utah
Dec. 29, 4:30 p.m., ESPN
Gift package:
• 7-inch portable DVD player
• Fossil watch
• Personalized football
• Commemorative football and hat
The Big Picture Grade: C Personalized football reads: "This game sucks."

Pacific Life Holiday Bowl
Oregon vs. Oklahoma
Dec. 29, 8:00 p.m., ESPN
Gift package:
• 30GB iPod with video
• $15 music gift certificate
• iPod car adaptor
• Commemorative sweatshirt and hat
The Big Picture Grade: B+ Oregon at least gets an iPod after getting left out of the BCS.

Gaylord Hotels Music City Bowl
Minnesota vs. Virginia
Dec. 30, 12 p.m., ESPN
Gift package:
• 7-inch portable DVD player
• Swiss army watch
• Personalized football
• Sweatshirt and equipment bag
The Big Picture Grade: B- Think D'Brickashaw Ferguson will wear the watch?

Vitalis Sun Bowl
Northwestern vs. UCLA
Dec. 30, 2:00 p.m., CBS
Gift package:
• Sony PSP with Madden NFL 2006
• Silvertone watch
• Armor Gear Sports duffel bag
• Suede leather jacket
• Vitalis knit cap and hair dryer
The Big Picture Grade: B+ I hear Maurice Drew is all about that hair dryer.

Independence Bowl
South Carolina vs. Missouri
Dec. 30, 3:30 p.m., ESPN
Gift package:
• Fossil watch
• Large leather duffel bag
• Commemorative hat and football
• Mini football helmet
The Big Picture Grade: D Steve Spurrier will be pleased with the duffel bag.

Chick-fil-A Peach Bowl
Miami vs. LSU
Dec. 30, 7:30 p.m., ESPN
Gift package:
• XBox and XBox game pack
• Fossil watch
• Chick-fil-A Peach Bowl windshirt
• Commemorative football and watch
• The book Wild at Heart by John Etheridge
The Big Picture Grade: B LSU QB JaMarcus Russell can't wait to dive in to Wild at Heart.

Meineke Car Care Bowl

South Florida vs. N.C. State
Dec. 31, 11:00 a.m., ESPN2
Gift package:
• Rolling duffel bag
• 8-inch portable DVD player
• Personalized football
• Commemorative Fossil wallet and watch gift set
The Big Picture Grade: B- A bad game with a terrible name deserves less.

AutoZone Liberty Bowl
Tulsa vs. Fresno State
Dec. 31, 1:00 p.m., ESPN
Gift package:
• NIKE wind jacket and sweatpants
• Portable DVD player
• Commemorative football and watch
• Leather travel bag
The Big Picture Grade: B- Think they'll watch The Patriot on the new DVD player?

EV1.net Houston Bowl
TCU vs. Iowa State
Dec. 31, 2:30 a.m., ESPN2
Gift package:
• Digital camera
• Fossil watch
• Commemorative football
The Big Picture Grade: C+ Make sure not to take pictures of the game -- it won't be memorable.

AT&T Cotton Bowl
Alabama vs. Texas Tech
Jan. 2, 11:00 p.m., FOX
Gift package:
• Commemorative watch
• Mp3 player
• Portable DVD player
• Luggage
The Big Picture Grade: B+ Brody Croyle wonders where the iPod is.

Outback Bowl
Florida vs. Iowa
Jan. 2, 11:00 a.m., ESPN
Gift package:
• Sony mini digital camcorder
• Commemorative backpack
The Big Picture Grade: B Chris Leak may take a leak on the commemorative backpack.

Toyota Gator Bowl

Louisville vs. Virginia Tech
Jan. 2, 12:30 p.m., NBC
Gift package:
• Toyota Gator Bowl ring
• Commemorative watch
• Commemorative baseball cap
• Duffel bag
The Big Picture Grade: D Big game with little payout. Marcus Vick is none too pleased.

Capital One Bowl
Wisconsin vs. Auburn
Jan. 2, 1:00 p.m., ABC
Gift package:
• Medallion Quartz watch with bowl logo
• Sony camcorder
• Commemorative beach towel
The Big Picture Grade: B Auburn coach Tommy Tuberville could use some sun.

Tostitos Fiesta Bowl
Ohio State vs. Notre Dame
Jan. 2, 4:30 p.m., ABC
Gift package:
• Sony PSP
• Bulova men's watch
• Commemorative football
• Fiesta Bowl dart board and snack-filled duffel bag
The Big Picture Grade: B+ Charlie Weiss is enthralled about the snacks.

Nokia Sugar Bowl

West Virginia vs. Georgia
Jan. 2, 8:30 p.m., ABC
Gift package:
• Men's Fossil watch/sunglasses set
• Samsung Mp3 player
• Customized Trek mountain bike
• Commemorative hat
The Big Picture Grade: B- Fitting that the Mountaineers get mountain bikes.

FedEx Orange Bowl

Penn State vs. Florida State
Jan. 3, 8:00 p.m., ABC
Gift package:
• Sony PSP
• Madden NFL 2006 and NBA Live 2006
• Ogio duffel bag
• Commemorative hat and team plaque
• Friday Night Lights DVD
• ESPN The Magazine subscription
The Big Picture Grade: A- But why not Sports Illustrated?

The Rose Bowl Game Presented by Citi
Texas vs. USC
Jan. 4, 8:00 p.m., ABC
Gift package:
• Sony PSP
• Madden NFL 2006
• Rose Bowl watch and backpack
• New Era hat and knapsack
• Commemorative Rose Bowl flip coin
• Rose Bowl souvenir football
• The Longest Yard DVD
The Big Picture Grade: B+ Reggie Bush may have a tough time gaining any yards, let alone the longest one, next season.

Norv Turner update: 7:09 PST and he's still in as Raiders' coach.

In other news: Matt Lawton teams up with Ryan Franklin, Mike Morse and Jamal Strong on the Seattle Balcos.