Sunday, December 25, 2005

Ho Ho Ho from Chad Johnson

There was no reindeer celebration after Chad Johnson took it to the house yesterday, but he did bring his sleigh loaded with Xmas gifts.

He passed out autographed shirts and footballs to lucky fans and had a bag filled with more. What wasn't publicized though were the gifts he gave out to the rest of the league.

Here's what a select few received from our boy, Mr. Johnson:

-The Buffalo Bills got a win against Chad's Bengals.

-The Houston Texans were given the likely chance of getting Reggie Bush.

-Mike Tice was given Super Bowl tickets to do whatever he pleases with.

-Matt Millen was given the classifieds to look for his next job.

-Norv Turner: see Millen.

-Raider fans got this mask to remind them that Randy Moss does actually play for Oakland. Would make for a better Halloween costume than Christmas gift though.

-The SS Love Boat passengers took the party cruise and all they got was this lousy shirt.

-The NFL front office received $40,000 in future endzone dancing fines.

-Bryant McKinnie got head -- wait that wasn't for Christmas...

-Randy Moss was given one of these bad boys.

-Christmas came early for the Baltimore Ravens. Last week they received an offense.

-Ricky Williams was given a truck load of weed. (Gift was not given by Johnson but by ex-Cowboy Nate Newton).

-Young Alex Smith was given the ability to complete more than half of his passes. A touchdown pass? "Maybe next year," said Johnson.

-The Seattle Seahawks got a freebie win against the Indianapolis Ponies.

-And Chad gave himself the ultimate gift: the gift of giving...only because his reindeer was kidnapped.

Happy holidays folks!

In other news: The cast of Hawaii 5-0 and about 12 other people saw Nevada beat Central Florida in a helluva Hawaii Bowl last night.


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