Saturday, December 24, 2005

Quick thoughts (and inevitably cheap shots) about Week 16

-The 49ers can't do anything right. Their costly win in St. Louis likely means Reggie Bush will be a Texan next season.

-I'm all for integrity...but trying to win? Keep in mind, this is coming from the same franchise that brought you an in-house tape with strippers and many racist scenarios.

-Three wins is nothing to be proud of and is a terrible Christmas gift. All I wanted from Santa were the rights to Reggie Bush.

-One lousy win may have cost the Niners nine more years of aguish.

-Reggie Bush on the 49ers latest tragedy: "Man, fuck that shit. I'm not trying to go to Houston. They got big ass bugs there."

-49ers coach Mike Nolan just got a call from Matt Millen to discuss the whole integrity thing.

-Young Alex Smith (0 Tds, many INTs) won his first game as a starter but says he is still young and very very bad.

-To add injury to insult, not only are my Niners screwed in the Bush Sweepstakes, Chad Johnson's reindeer gag was spoiled. If this has something to do with animal rights I'm going to be very disappointed.

-Doesn't seem like anybody in the NFC wants to clinch a division. The New York Giants looked worse than the Niners and Carolina blew it (see: Bryant McKinnie) against Dallas. I'd love to see the Redskins come from nowhere to win the NFC East.

-Tough goings in the AFC these days. Kansas City has an impressive win over the Chargers who had an impressive win over Indy last week and both teams will be fading shitty beer on their La-Z-Boys come playoff time.

-Big ups to the Jacksonville Jaguars. David Garrard is filling in nicely for Byron Leftwich.

-No big ups to the Houston Texans. You guys better beat the Niners next week.

-Jake Plummer is probably the ugliest player in the league. He could benefit by visiting Johnny Damon's barber.

-Terry Bradshaw is probably the stupidest person affiliated with the league.

-And the Cowboys may have the hottest cheerleaders in the league.

-I feel bad for the Saints. They can't even beat the Lions.

-Just when I thought Pittsburgh was vulnerable: Steelers 41, Browns 0.

-I'm glad I'm not an NFL official: They'll be run out of Carolina forever when they get a better look at that ball Julius Peppers certainly blocked.

-I'm glad I don't deal with tie-breakers: Lots of 10-5 teams in the NFC.

-Frank Gore and Maurice Hicks looked really good running the ball for the Niners today. Who needs Reggie Bush?

-Oh yeah, the Niners. Mike Nolan is dead to me. I'll show you integrity.

-Atlanta is probably the loudest 8-7 team in a long time, while Miami may be the quietest. Nick Saban should get strong consideration for Coach of the Year.

-Ron Mexico, Michael Vick's alias, should probably flee to Mexico after failing to get his hyped Falcons to the playoffs.

-For some reason Norv Tuner is still coaching the Raiders. Word has it that they are getting their asses kicked by Denver and Randy Moss is getting ready to show his ass to Al Davis.

In other news: After eating rotten tuna, Bill Parcells is considering retirement.

1 comment:

JMC said...

Who says the Niners need Reggie Bush? They scored 3, count em 3(!!) TD's today. Speaking of which, even if the Texans beat the Niners, my understanding is that they get the first pick anyway becuase the tie breaker is not head-to-head but some strength of schedule bullshit. What is this, the BCS?