Saturday, December 31, 2005

New Year’s resolutions from your favorite sports stars

Two thousand and five is in the books and here comes the highly anticipated ‘06. Why is it highly anticipated, you ask? Well, because frankly it sounds better than lowly anticipated.

Last year was a great year in sports. A Chicago team won the World Series (not the Cubs -- they are still America’s not-so-lovable losers). A woman (Danica Patrick) nearly won the Indy 500. And the Minnesota Vikings starred in their own hit sitcom, “SS Love Boat: The R-rated years.”

So it was a wild year in sports, but what will the new year bring? It’s time to resolve the bad from 2005 and look at the 2006-glass as half full. (Or entirely full if it’s loaded with beer)!

Thus, here is another rousing rendition of New Year's resolutions from your favorite athletes, teams and other sports-related entities:

-Shaun Alexander: 423 touchdowns ain’t gonna cut it for ‘06. I’m gonna try to save the world too.

-Seattle Seahawks: Winning the division? No good. We want to win the NCAA March Madness Tournament.

-Matt Leinart: I’ll make millions in the NFL and spend a good chunk of it perfecting my ballroom dancing skills.

-Ty Willingham: The resolution for the Washington Huskies is to win six games, the Apple Cup and our respective March Madness pools. (Don’t worry, I’ve already talked to Rick N. about betting tips).


-Mike Tice: I will not scalp tickets to the Super Bowl. Better yet, I’ll scalp ‘em to the Vikings’ Love Cruise, Part Deux!

-The NHL: We’ll make hockey more exciting. Well, we promise we’ll at least try.

-Matt Lawton, Jamal Strong, Mike Morse and Ryan Franklin: No more messing around with the ‘roids for us...it’s straight to the hard shit now!

-David Stern and the NBA: Because the league is so vastly improved this season, the business casual attire is out and in are...wait for it...tuxedos.

-Charlie Weis: I don’t like losing twice, especially a heartbreaker against USC, when Matt Leinart scored on the final play. In lieu of that, I’m signing up for Ballroom Dancing 101 -- and to hit on hot USC girls.


-LeBron James: Now that I’m 21 and finally legal to drink, 30 points = 30 shots at the post party!

-Johnny Damon: I will play my heart our for the Yankees this year and sip warm, spiced cider after each game with Benedict Arnold.

-Rafael Palmeiro: I regret my use of steroids and I resolve to clean up my act. (But it’s cool to keep the Viagra, right?)

-UW Cheerleaders: We’ve taken notes from those Carolina Panthers’ girls. ‘Nuff said.

-Minnesota Vikings’ PR folks: We’ll do our best to hire those Panthers’ cheerleaders for the Valentine’s Day party.

-The strippers from the Vikings’ Love Cruise: Think the Patriots will hire us? We want to “meet” Tom Brady.

-Reggie Bush: Hmm...win the Heisman, get drafted first overall...I think I could make a good President of the United States too. People won’t even be confused about the name.

-Washington State: It’s inevitable: we’ll Coug it in ‘06.

Looks like we’re in for another action-packed year in the wide world of sports.

In other news: The Seattle media reports that Lute Olson got a gray hair during Arizona's double-overtime win over Washington.

14 comments:

wjackalope said...

my resolution is to take more antacids while I watch the Giants so I'm not feeling so ulcerish all the time.

Anonymous said...

I have been following a site now for almost 2 years and I have found it to be both reliable and profitable. They post daily and their stock trades have been beating
the indexes easily.

Take a look at Wallstreetwinnersonline.com

RickJ

Anonymous said...

I have been following a site now for almost 2 years and I have found it to be both reliable and profitable. They post daily and their stock trades have been beating
the indexes easily.

Take a look at Wallstreetwinnersonline.com

RickJ

Anonymous said...

Ja das ist fantastish!
buy viagra
cheap viagra online
G'night

Anonymous said...

Hi all, nice design.
visit me at [url=http://viagra-store.info/]viara[/url].
Buy http://viagra-store.info#viagra online.
G'night.

Anonymous said...

Hello, thanks author.
my page [url=http://www.youthpeer.org/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=327]viara[/url].
Take http://www.youthpeer.org/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=327#viagra online.
G'night.

Anonymous said...

Hallo, you are the best.
See [url=http://bowtrol-herbal.info]viagra[/url].
Test http://bowtrol-herbal.info#viagra best prices.
Bye.

Anonymous said...

cheap clomid by fedex cod http://www.box.net/shared/7ab75huxgo cheap Clomid

Anonymous said...

clomid with next day delivery without rx with free http://www.box.net/shared/7ab75huxgo buy clomid in japan

Anonymous said...

http://www.archive.org/details/CheapCialisFreeShipping [url=http://www.archive.org/details/CheapCialisFreeShipping]Cheap Cialis Free Shipping [/url] odor cialis online http://www.archive.org/details/GenericCialisMastercard [url=http://www.archive.org/details/GenericCialisMastercard]Generic Cialis Mastercard [/url] where to buy cialis without over the counter http://www.archive.org/details/CheapLipitorWithoutAPrescription [url=http://www.archive.org/details/CheapLipitorWithoutAPrescription]Cheap Lipitor Without A Prescription[/url] cialis overnight http://www.archive.org/details/GenericCialisNextDayDelivery [url=http://www.archive.org/details/GenericCialisNextDayDelivery]Generic Cialis Next Day Delivery[/url] buy generic cialis canada http://www.archive.org/details/CheapTramadolOnlineOvernightDelivery [url=http://www.archive.org/details/CheapTramadolOnlineOvernightDelivery]Cheap Tramadol Online Overnight Delivery[/url]

Anonymous said...

http://www.archive.org/details/TramadolHydrochloride200mg [url=http://www.archive.org/details/TramadolHydrochloride200mg]Tramadol Hydrochloride 200 mg[/url] http://www.archive.org/details/TramadolWithdrawals_435 [url=http://www.archive.org/details/TramadolWithdrawals_435]Tramadol Withdrawals[/url] http://www.archive.org/details/GenericCialisFastShipping [url=http://www.archive.org/details/GenericCialisFastShipping]Generic Cialis Fast Shipping [/url] http://www.archive.org/details/BuyBrandCialisFromSupplier_693 [url=http://www.archive.org/details/BuyBrandCialisFromSupplier_693]Buy Brand Cialis From Supplier[/url] http://www.archive.org/details/CialisShippedOvernight cheap generic cialis online uk [url=http://www.archive.org/details/CialisShippedOvernight]Cialis Shipped Overnight[/url] http://www.archive.org/details/CialisInChicago online pharmacy [url=http://www.archive.org/details/CialisInChicago]Cialis In Chicago[/url] http://www.archive.org/details/CialisMaximumEffect [url=http://www.archive.org/details/CialisMaximumEffect]Cialis Maximum Effect[/url] http://www.archive.org/details/MailOrderCialis amazon generic cialis online uk [url=http://www.archive.org/details/MailOrderCialis]Mail Order Cialis[/url] http://www.archive.org/details/CialisEffectiveness_397 buy cialis online china [url=http://www.archive.org/details/CialisEffectiveness_397]Cialis Effectiveness[/url] http://www.archive.org/details/BuyCialisWithMastercard buy cialis online with yahoo mail [url=http://www.archive.org/details/BuyCialisWithMastercard]Buy Cialis With Mastercard[/url] http://www.archive.org/details/BuyCialisInNewYork buy levitra online [url=http://www.archive.org/details/BuyCialisInNewYork]BuyCialisInNewYork[/url] http://www.archive.org/details/BuyCialisNoRx [url=http://www.archive.org/details/BuyCialisNoRx]Buy Cialis No Rx[/url] cialis in chicago buy viagra

Anonymous said...

http://www.archive.org/details/BuyViagra25mg [url=http://www.archive.org/details/BuyViagra25mg]Buy Viagra 25 mg[/url] can i buy viagra online discount http://www.archive.org/details/BuyViagra50mg [url=http://www.archive.org/details/BuyViagra50mg]Buy Viagra 50 mg[/url] buy online discount generic viagra http://www.archive.org/details/BuyViagra100mg buy viagra online online discount [url=http://www.archive.org/details/BuyViagra100mg]Buy Viagra 100mg[/url] safe buy viagra discount online http://www.archive.org/details/BuyViagra100mgOnline [url=http://www.archive.org/details/BuyViagra100mgOnline]Buy Viagra 100 mg Online[/url] best place to buy viagra discount online http://www.archive.org/details/BuyViagraOvernightShipping [url=http://www.archive.org/details/BuyViagraOvernightShipping]Buy Viagra Overnight Shipping[/url] buy viagra online discount without prescription http://www.archive.org/details/BuyViagraOvernightDelivery [url=http://www.archive.org/details/BuyViagraOvernightDelivery]BuyViagraOvernightDelivery[/url] buy viagra online discount http://www.archive.org/details/BuyViagraForWomen [url=http://www.archive.org/details/BuyViagraForWomen]Buy Viagra For Women[/url] buy viagra online discount canadian http://www.archive.org/details/BuyViagraUsa [url=http://www.archive.org/details/BuyViagraUsa]Buy Viagra Usa[/url] http://www.archive.org/details/BuyViagraOnlineOrder online viagra buy viagra online tadalis [url=http://www.archive.org/details/BuyViagraOnlineOrder]BuyViagraOnlineOrder[/url] http://www.archive.org/details/BuyViagraOnlineDiscount [url=http://www.archive.org/details/BuyViagraOnlineDiscount]Buy Viagra Online Discount[/url] can you buy viagra discount online without a prescription

Anonymous said...

Appreciating the dedication you put into your blog and detailed information you present.
It's nice to come across a blog every once in a while that isn't the same unwanted rehashed
information. Fantastic read! I've bookmarked your
site and I'm adding your RSS feeds to my Google account.

Here is my webpage ... acidophilus probiotics ()

Anonymous said...

Hi there, just became aware of your blog
through Google, and found that it's really informative.
I'm gonna watch out for brussels. I'll appreciate if you continue
this in future. A lot of people will be benefited from your writing.
Cheers!

my homepage probiotics supplements, ,