Monday, April 07, 2008

Coaches with the most distinct appearance

What was Roy Williams thinking Saturday? That tie! That fucking tie!

It looks he's wearing a kilt around his neck. That tie could be turned into a flannel shirt that Eddie Vedder wore 15 years ago when Pearl Jam was good. If Roy Williams has more clothing with that same pattern, he'd be better off making instructional videos how to hunt deer than coach basketball.

While Williams is often well dressed, his neck-wear Saturday got us thinking about some of the most distinct looks coaches have.

On the following list, all are either basketball or football coaches since baseball coaches wear uniforms and nobody watches hockey.

Why only eight? Because eight is a lucky number in Chinese culture, asshole. (And because we couldn't think of 10).

As always with lists, we surely left some out, so help us out in the comments. Here's what we came up with:

8. Red Auerbach, Boston Celtics:


Auerbach's signature cigar would never be allowed these days, because smoking is bad for you and the NBA isn't any fun. But Auerbach, a coaching legend, often had his cigar which makes him stand out in any coaching circles. He probably would have been higher on the list, but few who read this blog can remember the 50s and 60s.

7. Mike Tice, Minnesota Vikings:


Those fucking mock turtlenecks! So out of style, yet so in style when worn by the former Vikes coach. As a kid he would've gotten beat up. As a huge man, he brought the cool back to the mock turtleneck. Well, no he didn't. Not at all. The fucking Fonz couldn't make a mock turtleneck cool.

6. John Chaney, Temple:


Disheveled, pissed off and a little drunk looking summarize the appearance of former Temple legend John Chaney pretty well. His tie was always loosened, his sleeves rolled up and he always seemed ready for that post-game Scotch.

5. Don Nelson, Golden State Warriors:


It's a good look for that mid-20s something trying to look hip on a night out: the sport coat with a t-shirt underneath. Hey, it looks classy...until you have a gut. Nellie's beer belly is on full display when his coat is unbuttoned showing off his body-hugging t-shirt. But for a guy who drinks a lot and coaches our hometown Warriors, he can wear whatever he likes.

4. Al Groh, Virginia:


The crew-neck sweatshirt was made for him...and nobody else.

3. Bob Knight, Indiana/Texas Tech:


The sweaters. Boy does he like sweaters. Maybe he fondles his sweaters.

2. John Thompson, Georgetown:


Towels are not for bathing or for drying the dishes, dammit! Thompson was perhaps the best walking advertisement the towel industry will ever have. (If such a thing as the "towel industry" exists). We might start slinging a towel over our shoulder when we blog.

1. Bill Belichick, New England Patriots:


The hooded-sweatshirt with the sleeves cut off and hood up. You could recognize him from a distance, making him the coach with the most distinct style, even though that style makes him look better suited to stand in an unemployment line or be the leader of the Dark Side than coach a football team.

19 comments:

GMoney said...

The emporer pic made me spit coffee. Classic. You can't forget about Tice's constant pencil in his ear. That was unique for that retard.

Anonymous said...

What about the Jim Tressel sweater vest?

JMC said...

mike nolan and jack del rio with the suits on the sideline... tom landry with the hat, bear bryant with the houndstooth hat. Bruce Pearl with the orange jackets.

The Big Picture said...

anonymous 8:51,

of course! knew I was missing an obvious one. thanks for the comment.

Anonymous said...

speaking of towels, what about Tarkanian at UNLV/Fresno State?

Anonymous said...

Oh come on. Tom Landry. The guy was so distinctive even his silhouette is known by every football fan.

Anonymous said...

No Joe Paterno? The guy hasn't changed his look in 40+ years!!!

Anonymous said...

What about Jerry Tarkanian chewing on a towel, or the infamous Keady combover and scowl????

Anonymous said...

Unfortunately, a lot of bloggers still eat at the kiddie table around the holidays. If your sports viewing stretches back more than 7 or 8 years, you'd probably acknowledge Weeb Eubank as a true original when it comes to appearance.

Anonymous said...

How about Wimp Sanderson and his plaid jacket?

RutkowskiLives said...

Jim Boeheim, finger near/in nose.

Daniel said...

Vince Lombardi and that hat...

Anonymous said...

John Wooden holding a rolled up program.

Anonymous said...

Lou Carnesseca sweaters

Anonymous said...

gotta be JoePa with the black Nike's and the rolled up trousers.

devin said...

Jim Tressel has got to be on this list and also Phil Jackson on his throne.

Dave said...

I'd say Tice is better known for having a #2 pencil permanently stuck behind his ear.

Anonymous said...

No mention of Stephen Orr Spurrier's visor yet? C'mon!

Bookmaking Software said...

I have to admit that Bob Knight with those all sweater. he looks like Ned Flander. But the number one deserves his position.