Monday, April 21, 2008

Watch out for that right quad

Hi. I'm your right quadricep. Don't fuck with me.

I will take you down faster than a Vietnamese prostitute. I'm your motherfucking worst nightmare. Want to spend some time on the DL? Don't mess with me. This shit will linger, man. You think you'll be day-to-day but if you rush this back, you'll feel the pain all season. I'll make sure of it. It's a bitch. I'm a bitch. And I'm gonna fuck you you like a bitch.

I just did it to two stars Sunday. Chipper and A-Rod strained me and now I'm pissed. They think they can just walk it off or "rest." Right quads don't fucking rest. Their leg is inflamed like a fucking shrimp on the barbie.

All you got to do is treat me well. Stretch me out a little bit. I love that shit. It's like my way of jerking off. Even do some exercises to strengthen me. Squats are good. Leg press is good. If you do lunges I'll fucking lose it.

But beware. Don't neglect me. You treat me like chop liver and I'll bite you in the ass and keep you on the shelf for a month. I'm like a good woman. Just show me some attention, care for me and I'll love you back. It's that simple, really.

4 comments:

GMoney said...

Take heed, people!!! Messing with the right quad is what did in Barbaro.

JMC said...

but what about the Boston Celtics playing a playoff series a team that was 37-45 in the regular season??!?! What a great series! No way do the 48-34 Warriors deserve to be in.

Anonymous said...

Wahhh...my favorite team couldn't keep pace in a conference where you must actually have good defense, more than one "superstar" (a loosely defined term these days, ie. Pau Gasol) on your team, and win an ever-increasing number of games to get to the playoffs! But lets blame it on how the league is split into 2 conferences and how the rules are made instead!

I R SO SMRT =).

^ Is that basically what you were getting at with that?

JMC said...

actually I was making a joke based on the tags that zach put on his post.

In all honesty I think it's silly that they allow SO many teams to get in (allowing teams that are under .500 to make the playoffs), and I think it's just a shame that there are so many good teams in one conference and so few in another. The playoffs would be a lot more interesting if each conference was a little more balanced. But fair's fair, the W's need to get better if they want to compete in a stacked western conference.