Friday, April 25, 2008

How Passover will affect your NFL Draft

Passover is our least favorite holiday, outside of the Fourth of July (fireworks scare us).

We live on carbs like pasta and rice and beer and certainly not matzah, but for one whole week, we basically can only eat potatoes and animals. Really kind of ironic about Passover, actually. You could, in theory, eat a bacon ham and cheese melt on some matzah and technically it'd be Kosher for Passover. Go figure.

We don't observe that closely, but there are many who do. And for those strict-observers, Draft Day parties are going to be a bitch. No beer, no fucking corn syrup (mixers, candy, anything else that tastes good) and defintely no pizza.

Your best options:

-chicken wings. Most come un-breaded, so tear those motherfuckers apart.
-cocktail weenies with dipping sauce
-potato chips and dip (everthing on Draft Day should come with dip).
-veggies and dip
-Bloody Mary's (make sure it's potato vodka and your Bloody Mary mix is straight).
-Wine. Manishevitz will do the trick, but whatever floats your boat in the afternoon.

Some fun new additions to the Draft Day drinking game:

-Talk of Chad Johnson trade rumors, take four drinks.
-If any player who is actually in attendance falls out of the first half of Round 1 and has to sit waiting in the green room, drink one full beer for every hour he waits after the start of the draft.
-Any use of the term "spygate" finish your drink.
-If Mel Kiper's hair moves, drink the blood of cobra.
-If Berman mentions Passover, pound your drink.

Happy Draft, folks! May your team not completely fuck up its future.

5 comments:

rstiles said...

Happy Draft Day to you too!!!

JMC said...

I am SO excited for tomorrow. Good thing I don't observe passover.

GMoney said...

I believe Todd McShay's pubes are kosher so, you know, you Jew folk can eat those, too.

rstiles said...

I am going to go out and get myself a whore, some 40s, pizza, and Greek fried chicken....

Then everytime Berman uses the term that someone "is on the clock," by then, the whore will be drunk and I will convince her that he is saying "she needs to go down on my cock"....

Boy, life is good!!!

Bokolis said...

Fuck the draft. This supposedly took place right under The Big Picture's nose...tragic. The question is now, "Would you have done...?"

http://www.mychillpill.net/2008/04/allison-stokke-the-college-years/