Friday, November 16, 2007

What Really Grinds My Gears


You Know What Really Grinds My Gears (named after the segment on Family Guy, of course) is a new feature that will run whenever the fuck we want it to...but usually on a slow news day. It will focus on those pet peeves that, well, really grind your gears. It likely won't be sports-related. Fuck sports. This isn't a sports blog anyway...Oh. Right. Um, yeah, we'll see about making them sports-related. If you have any suggestions -- or would even like to guest write one! -- send your submissions to zachls5@gmail.com or Ballhype us or something Internet-y like that.

You know what really grinds my gears?

Brady Leaf.

I mean, have you ever played organized football? You looked like your brother out there. A fucking quadriplegic could throw better than you.

Brady Leaf is nobody's friend. If Brady Leaf were an ice cream flavor, he'd be pralines and dick.

Pinch your penis, ass clown. That's the last time you'll touch it. Or any one will touch it. You will never feel the warmth of a woman again. The ladies at Oregon will turn to masturbation and lesbianism before sleeping with you. They don't fuck losers.

I don't even like Oregon, but watching you "play" is like watching a fucking glacier melt. Throwing three-yard dump passes with the clock ticking down grinds my gears. That's bullshit, man. Throw it downfield. You should have benched yourself. Jonathan Stewart could play QB better than you.

So enjoy being a failure. It runs in the family.

And that, people, is what really grinds my gears.

4 comments:

JMC said...

yeah, that was pretty weak. the Leaf family is really pathetic. I thought it would have been pretty exciting to see Oregon in the Nat'l Championship game. Oh well. Once again we'll get OU or LSU or USC (well, probably not USC) or OSU. Same damn schools every time.

Brian said...

I really wanted an Oregon/LSU title game, but Leaf had to ruin it for everyone.

fucker

GMoney said...

Brady Leaf sucks the sweat off of a dead man's balls.

NFL Adam said...

What an a-hole. The blame should go to Belotti for recruiting a Leaf.