Monday, November 26, 2007

An afternoon at the gym

All people at the gym should look like this chick. Fake tan, fake cans and fuck-me eyes.

The people who go to our gym were not only beaten by the ugly stick, they ran through a fucking forest full of ugly sticks.

Seriously, we don't go to the gym to get strong or to feel good or to be in shape. That shit is for fucking body builders or people desperate for a hobby.

We go to the gym looking for some jerk material. C'mon, what's hotter than seeing some fine piece of ass in tight pants doing squats or stretching? The resulting camel toe is amazing!

If you remember from this post, we saw a girl a few weeks ago who was totally cute, totally fit and wanted it right there. (She must be the only one who belongs to our gym). We 69ed each other with our eyes and thought about making an adult film right there without a camera, but instead collected ourselves and went on with our workout. But we haven't seen her since. It can pretty much go without saying, but masturbation has been really boring lately.

Though we haven't seen our hot friend, we did see a familiar face at the gym this weekend.
Older dude...maybe late 50s, but he coulda passed for 125. He was Nicole Richie-thin, had wispy, graying hair and an unkept beard. Man, this beard was fucking awesome. If there were birds living in there, we'd be the least surprised. He probably hasn't shaved since '72.

Anyway, this guy starts doing some stretches and shit. We usually mind our business at the gym, try to keep our head down, avoid eye contact. But as this hombre was stretching, we couldn't help but stare.

It sure looked like this older man was trying to suck his own dick.
It looked like this guy has since gotten a hair cut and maybe found a hedge clippers for the beard, but, sure enough, there he was going after his meat again. This guy was really getting after it. Attacking ferociously. If he were a prehistoric animal, he'd certainly be a pterodactyl.

He'd be the type of guy to remove a rib too in order to give himself a cock-sucking advantage. Hard to blame the guy. He knows what he wants. He comes to the gym to give the perception that he's doing an abdominal workout or doing some core stretches, but he's really just trying to give himself some oral relief. We respect that.


rstiles said...

You gotta get us a picture of this dude...

Plus a picture of that hot piece of ass you want to tap

JMC said...

weren't things SO SO SO much better when you could go to the UW student gym? I know my life's been nothing but downhill since I graduated, and that's why.

Anonymous said...

I'm the only person I know who can suck his own dick.

Anonymous said...

I know a chick that can eat herself out.

Chris said...

hahaha! Good stuff. My gym has a guy who sings and dances while he works out. It's always really bad lyrics too, like he's about to do some curls and he'll bout out, "cause you don't love me anymore!" It's unreal. It's got to the point where you can tell who isn't a regular by who is staring at the singing dude.