Tuesday, November 13, 2007

The 49ers couldn't score with an Indonesian hooker

The 49ers are pathetic. Pull your pubes out one by one pathetic. And after a 24-0 loss to the Seahawks, where San Francico may or may not have had positive yardage, it's time for finger pointing. And fucking ultimatums.

Here it is: if the Niners run the Spread Option for one full half of real, NFL football, we won't drop an F-bomb for a week.

Why run the Spread Option?

Young Alex Smith used to be a football player before he was drafted by the 49ers. When he played at Utah, he successfully ran the spread under Urban Meyer's innovative offense and led the Utes to an undefeated season and Fiesta Bowl win. With a mobile Smith coupled with Frank Gore, there's enough speed in the backfield to at least attempt running it.

Because NFL defenses are so fast these days, there's a chance that Smith orchestrating the spread option will lead to him being in a coma. But that might not be such a bad thing, though his guaranteed money could fuck the franchise.

Coach Mike Nolan needs to take some hints. Running up the middle isn't working. I-Form isn't fucking working. Young Alex Smith taking the ball under center isn't fucking working. So try something new.

It might fail miserably. It might work wonderfully and we'll be asked to be an offensive consultant for the rest of the season. Just give it a chance. If the 49ers do, we'll clean up the language and fucking write this site in perfect prose and iambic pentameter.


JMC said...

they're gonna lose no matter what they do. let's face it, Smith isn't very good. The system isn't good and the O-Line isn't good. And let's not forget the receivers. They aren't very good. Every now and again Smith has time to throw and somebody is open. Usually when that happens he overthrows them. I'm over it.

GMoney said...

Who the fuck are you to say that pulling out your pubes is pathetic???