Tuesday, November 14, 2006

The Dennis Green Survival Rating

We're running a new feature here at The Big Picture, called the Dennis Green Survival Rating. Because Green's chair is so ass-burning hot, we thought we'd take a weekly look at how Green is surviving as coach of the Arizona Cardinals.

Much like EDSBS's Chuck Amato Survival Meter, the Dennis Green Survival Rating will analyze just how screwed Green is by comparing him to royalty. Why royalty? Because, "if you want to crown 'em, crown their ass." When Green reaches the "King" level, he's as good as fired.

Oh boy. There's lame duck coaches and then there's Green. After losing 27-10 to Dallas Sunday, Arizona seemingly has decided not to play football anymore this season.

It's sad too because Green had some life pumped back into him last week after the Cardinals were idle. He got bumped down to a Prince Level Ranking, though he was more the Frog Prince than Prince Charming.

The Cardinals are losers of eight straight games and with offensive weapons Anquan Boldin, Larry Fitzgerald and Edgerrin James, one may think that Arizona could muster more than 10 points against the Cowboys. But no.

Green gets pushed up to the Queen Level again this week as it only is a matter of time before someone in the Cardinals' front office pulls a Donald Trump and fires his ass.

In other NFL news: After beating Tampa Bay 24-10 Monday night, Carolina removed the Buccaneers proverbial spleen.

No comments: