Salvador Dali was on to something. What if you could melt time? Or clocks? Or stop time? Then you could time travel, which is much more Marty McFly than Salvador Dali.
Speaking of clocks and the future, if you could go back in time and fix one sports-related event, what would it be? Us, well, we probably wouldn't have let Dusty Baker take the ball from Russ Ortiz in a certain game.
National Signing Day is one of the most overrated, bullshit non-events that gets blown way out of proportion.
It's like the NFL Draft -- a great event, mind you -- with unestablished players.
The two biggest recruits we remember making a splash on Signing Day were Lorenzo Booker (Florida State) and Derrick Williams (Penn State). Both were supposed to change the landscape of their respective teams and lead them back to glory.
Both were fine players, but nothing that special. They're like the equivalent of a T.J. Duckett: decent player, but never made it big.
This time of year sucks. It's cold, wet and the only things going on sports-related are the NBA and mid-season college hoops.
If we could hibernate, we would. We'd go fucking hang out with some polar bears and just take the month of February off.
Our colleague and fellow blogger Josh is a stupid, distracting, soccer jersey-wearing douchenob. And he likes soccer. And he accepts that the U.S. and Mexico can tie.
In this results-driven world, we want a fucking winner and loser. What if the Revolutionaries and the Redcoats had tied?
Take your pick:
Hangnail or paper cut?
Javier Bardem or Daniel Day Lewis?
Duke or Carolina?
Red or blue?
Front door or back door?
The Shaq trade is mind-boggling. We imagine that Shawn Marion must've been a problem in the clubhouse; something other than getting an old, expensive big man sparked this deal. We think Marion forced Phoenix's hand.
What if Shaq melted?