Ted Lilly and John Gibbons are in a fight

John: I waited up for you last night.
Ted: I know.
John: (looks puzzled)
Ted: You always do that. You pretend to be asleep but I can tell you're awake and angry.
John: Where were you?
Ted: Out.
John: No shit.
Ted: I was out! All right?!

(Beat)

John: Why won't you look at me when we make love?
Ted: We haven't made love...
John: Ssshh.
Ted: It hasn't been the same since the kids.
John: (nods head)
Ted: The passion isn't there anymore. The Honeymoon's over.
John: You don't mean that.
Ted: I know. I know. It's just...
John: What is it?
Ted: It's tough. On the road all the time. Bad outings. Having to look up to the Red Sox and Yankees.
John: Come here.
(They hug).

Ted: I'm seeing someone else.
John: Don't say that.
Ted: It's been going on for a while now.
John: How long?
Ted: Two years.
John: Who is it?
Ted: You won't know them.
John: This is un-fucking-believable.
Ted: Don't be mad.
John: (mockingly) Don't be mad. Don't be mad. You've had your dick in another person. Of course I'm mad.
Ted: You're so fucking insensitive.
John: And you're a tramp.
Ted: I hate you!
John: Get away from me.
(John walks back to the dugout)
Ted: Come back. I'm sorry. I love you!

Check out what really happened here and read a much more proffessional, funnier post of a similar nature here.

In other news: The Yankees swept a five-game series from Boston Monday and proceeded to pour gallons of tea into the Port of Boston.