Thursday, August 10, 2006

Clarett to star in correctional league

As you probably heard by now (or at least read about courtesy of Deadspin, The Mighty MJD, or Insomniac's Lounge), Maurice Clarett was arrested, yet again, this time for stealing a Robocop costume, driving a tank down main street, indiscriminitely firing guns in the air, and serving drinks to underage women while driving.

Word on the street is that Krister Vietnam (Clarett's Ron Mexico alias), is taking a cue from the movies, and believes that he will turn his life around, in prison, much like Paul Crewe (aka Guy Finland) does in The Longest Yard.

Clarett has had a wee bit of trouble in the past, and we can't help but think this latest incident will be the straw that breaks the camel's back. They're probably gonna lock this guy in prison, and we're not talking white-collar resort prison, we're talking federal pound me in the ass prison.

So what will Clarett do? Well, the only logical thing he can to prevent some guy with no neck from making Clarett his plaything: Become the star of the prison football team. Clarett of course hasn't played organized football for about 12 years, but supposedly he was kinda good once upon a time. Maybe a correctional league MVP award will garner him some attention and when he gets out of the slammer in 10 years, some genius will give him another shot.

Krister, good luck. We toast to you!

-Pavel Barbados

3 comments:

Mini Me said...

That isn't a bad idea. At least jail will keep Clarett out of trouble I think.

NFL Adam said...

Either that or the Bengals.

Zach Landres-Schnur said...

can't believe clarrett was drinking grey goose. classy mothafucka.