Wednesday, June 28, 2006
NBA Draft Preview
As you may or may not know, the NBA draft is this afternoon. Seeing as the draft is only 2 rounds, and the top picks will likely be wasted on some European chump, a child molester, and a guy with an unfortunate last name, The Big Picture won't be live blogging like we did with the NFL draft. History tells us that Europeans often turn out to be busts, white guys usually suck, and since the Warriors are projected in some mock drafts to land Rudy Gay, he'll probably be terrible too. Bottom line? Don't expect the guys coming out this year to have anything on the fellas from 2003.
A few notes on the draft:
- There's no clear no. 1 pick, so Toronto is pretty much fucked. That's what you get for being Canadian.
- If we were a GM, we'd take our boy Brandon Roy, whom Dicky V calls a "special player." Of course, he said this while slobbing J.J. Redick's knob, so who knows what to believe?
- We expect to see some pretty sweet styles on stage.
So even though we won't have a live blogging party, you can still watch the draft and make it a little more interesting with our official NBA draft drinking game. Here are the rules:
- Every time you see an unpronounceable name: 1 drink.
- When you hear an analyst refer to a player's "inside game" or "outside game": 2 drinks.
- When someone is said to "play above the rim": 4 drinks.
- When Dick Vitale calls someone "special": 1 drink.
-When Dick Vitale's incessant screaming gives you a headache: 5 drinks (and maybe an aspirin)
- Every time someone is said to have a big "upside": 3 drinks.
- Any time you hear a player compared to: Dirk Nowitzki: 1 drink, Shaq: 2 drinks, Dwyane Wade: 3 drinks, Larry Bird: 4 drinks, Michael Jordan: 5 drinks, Wally Szczerbiak: finish it!
Feel free to make up your own rules, heck, share 'em in the comments section! Enjoy the draft everyone.
Jamie is a speech-language pathologist studying at the University of Washington. You have no idea how hard his job is.