Best Judd Apatow movie?

Saw Funny People Tuesday. Entertaining. Not very funny. But entertaining and makes you want to be a movie star so you can nail two different girls in the span of an hour.

Funny People had nice balance of cock jokes, sincere moments and realistic conversations. A tad too many awkward parts where you cringe. And maybe not enough nudity. Or cock jokes. But there were definitely cock jokes.

Got us thinking about all the Judd Apatow flicks and their place in comedy lore. If we would rank his films (that we've seen), here's how it'd look:

6. Pineapple Express
5. Funny People
4. Forgetting Sarah Marshall
3. 40-year-old Virgin
2. Knocked Up
1. Superbad

Wow. Superbad was fucking epic. We should watch that again. And start writing more cock jokes.

Your list in the comments, please.

Nothing happened in sports yesterday so let's talk about movies

About a month ago we mentioned starting a new series all about movies. We haven't written about movies since. Guess that was an empty promise.

But we stopped in a Blockbuster yesterday and, by golly, THERE IS NOTHING TO FUCKING RENT. LOOK AT THE MOVIES WE HAD THE CHANCE TO GET:

"Night Train" starring Danny Glover
"Two Lovers" starring Joaquin Phoenix and Gwyneth Paltrow
"Meet Dave" starring Eddie Murphy
"An American Crime" starring Ellen Page
"Deception" starring Hugh Jackson
"What Just Happened?" starring Robert De Niro
"In the Electric Mist" starring Tommy Lee Jones

WHAT ARE THESE MOVIES?!?! WHY ARE THESE ESTABLISHED, RESPECTED ACTORS MAKING MOVIES THAT AREN'T REAL?!?! WHY ARE WE STILL WRITING IN CAPLOCKS?!?!

Did we miss the boat on these, or are credible actors starting to make straight-to-DVD movies? "What Just Happened?" More like "when the hell was this fake movie with a good actor made and why didn't we see previews on the television set for it?"

Color us confused. Maybe we were hiding in a cave six months ago when they were in the theaters (we weren't and they never were, we don't think, anyway).

We picked "Push" off of the shelf but realized that movies like that are why people cut themselves. That should be your straight-to-DVD movie. "Push." Please.

There are just absolutely no movies worth renting (are we wrong? If so, help. PLEASE!), so we went with "Friday Night Lights" Season 2 Disc 1.

You know what the cover of "Friday Night Lights" Season 2 Disc 1 suggests? That this is a show about football, with football coaches and football players and other things that involve football, like first downs and touchdowns and referees and Fridays and lights and FOOTBALL GAMES.

You know what "Friday Night Lights" Season 2 Disc 1 is about? NOT FOOTBALL. This show is a bigger soap opera than "Days of our Lives." And there are like six characters or so we'd strangle with a phone cord. Like Lyla Garrity, played by the mega-hot Minka Kelly. We would do things to Minka Kelly. We would do similar things to Lyla Garrity but take them further until they inflicted pain.

And this story line about these stupid kids killing a guy and then fucking each other because of it even though one is a dufus and the other is a hot/stupid babe? That has never happened in the history of high school. And then like five episodes later they'll be back to their happy-go-lucky ways as if THEY NEVER FUCKING KILLED A GUY! This show abandons story lines about as fast as we'd finish with Minka Kelly.

So yeah, pretty stupid show, but the critics love it and so do some sports fans, apparently. We'd love it if there was more football and more Lyla Garrity not being such a Jesus freak.

Tangent time: Why are all hot chicks Jesus freaks? We once dated a hot Jesus freak. She was soooo hot but soooo into Jesus. And didn't really buy into evolution -- "That's a nice theory," she'd say. "Theory!?!, you super-hot Jesus worshiper?!?! What color is the sky? It's blue. That's a fucking FACT. Know what else is a fact. Evolution. Done." There was no adult touching after that conversation for a long, long time.

Back to "Friday Night Lights" Season 2 Disc 1. The only good characters on this show are the coach, the quarterback kid (but not when he's spitting game at his grandma's caregiver. That's weird and Julie Taylor is smokin' hot and probably tight), the running back who nails the ego thing perfectly and the coach's wife, played by Connie Britton. Connie Britton might be our No. 1 MILF. She is dynnamite on this show. We are very jealous of the actress who plays her infant daughter.

Ok, now help us. What do we need to be watching so our next movie store adventure isn't such a failure? Should we have gone with "In the Electric Mist"? Help. NOW!

Transformers 2

Quick question: If Megan Fox wasn't in Transformers 2, would you see it?

Easy answer for us.

Movie Talk: Best movies you've seen lately

This might become a regular summer post: movie talk.

Like seriously, there is nothing going on that's related to sports and involves either humor or boobs. Check around the Web a little bit. The most interesting thing I read today involved a way to get porn passwords from a bot or something like that. I tried for 30 seconds before stopping in fear of my computer exploding. (If you have any porn passwords -- Brazzers, Naughty American, RealityKings -- we'll trade you a shoutout for endless jerk material. Send your passwords here. You'll be heavily thanked).

So let's talk about movies. Today's question: Name the best movie(s) you've seen in the last few months. Can either be on video or in the theater.

Feel like we haven't seen a very good movie in a while. We have high standards, yes, but it's been a while since like seeing a GREAT movie. Here's what we've seen/re-seen lately that does stand out:

-I Love You, Man
-Role Models
-Memento
-Big Fish -- I fucking love this movie. I have no idea why. I don't usually like those fable-like movies and Tim Burton is fucking weirdo who probably killed insects as a child. But this movie gets me every time. If you're in the mood for a good cry, check it out.
-Taken

Give us some Netflix material in the comments, please. PLEASE!

Jamie Foxx to play Iron Mike?

Why they haven't already made a big-screen production about Mike Tyson seems strange, but while details of an upcoming film are fuzzy, Tyson is certain who he wants to portray him.

If Mike Tyson has his way, he'll get Oscar-winning actor Jamie Foxx to tackle his life story in an upcoming cinematic version of his life. The boxer has been talking to the press about this plan for more than a year now, and he told MTV News that it's still very close to happening.

"It's gonna be [about me]," he told MTV News about the planned collaboration. "It's gonna be Jamie Foxx portraying me in a life story."

Mike Tyson wouldn't do too bad on the big-screen himself -- it's Mike friggin' Tyson! The guy is pure drama! With MTV maybe attached to this project, though, it's gonna somehow come out like Jackass.

Brad Pitt in no way resembles Billy Beane; nobody apparently resembles Rick Peterson except for Rick Peterson

Old news (not to us. To us it's new news, which we think is commonly referred to as "news"): they're making a "Moneyball" movie. Brad Pitt's inked to play the role of Billy Beane, while Steve Soderbergh of "Traffic" fame will direct. How they will turn this ground-breaking book into a film that's supposed to make money will be quite the challenge for the screenwriters.

Elsewhere, Rick Peterson will play himself in the film.

Rick Peterson, the former A's and Mets pitching coach, will play himself in Steve Soderbergh's movie version of "Moneyball." Soderbergh, who has directed "Sex, Lies and Videotape," "Erin Brockovich," "Traffic," and the "Ocean's Eleven" films, will cast Brad Pitt in the role of Billy Beane.

"Originally I was asked to be a technical adviser," said Peterson, "and after speaking with Mr. Soderbergh, he asked me if I'd play myself in the movie. I said, 'Sure, I'd love to.' I've spent a lot of time talking to him about pitching and what we said in pitching meetings during that time, etc., and he was very interested in that aspect of it. It's very exciting for all of us."

Joe Pesci with a mullet? Could work...

[Boston.com via Ben Maller]

The Oscars, babies and children being covered in shit

2008 didn't strike me as a good year for movies. Last year we had badass movies such as No Country and There Will be Blood in the Oscars. This year we have the likes of The Reader and Revolutionary Road. I haven't seen either of these because they were made for women and blind people. (Kate Winslet stars in both. This is not a coincidence).

If The Reader doesn't look the most boring movie ever made I don't know what is. The premise is about a teenager who someone gets involved with an older woman who may or may not be a lesbian and they have boring conversations for 124 minutes.

I decided that if it won Best Picture I'd boycott cinema for eight hours and then dedicate the next People I Want to Kill post to Kate Winslet who may or may not be a lesbian or a man.

Looks like you're safe for now, Kate. (Did like her Best Actress acceptance speech, though, for The Most Boring Movie Ever Made.

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Hugh Jackman was faking that accent.

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Steve Martin is a funny guy. Always has been. Perhaps he should have hosted. More of him, please.

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Tilda Swinton looks like a cyborg.

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Last movie topic: that hilarious fake movie poster is from College Humor which has a few more of those here. HILARIOUS!!! Go look at them. Right now. Very funny. Photoshop + humor = wonderful.

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I was away this weekend staffing a youth-group kind of thing. One of the other staffers -- slightly older than me -- was there with her family which included a four-year-old girl and a toddler.

This pretty much sums up our conversations:

Her: HEY LOOK AT MY KIDS. CAN YOU SEE THEM? AREN'T THEY CUTE? HEY LOOK AT MY KIDS.
Me: Ok.
Her: HEY LOOK AT MY KIDS. CAN YOU SEE THEM? AREN'T THEY CUTE? HEY LOOK AT MY KIDS.

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Same retreat, this 14-year-old tells me a fantastic pick-up line:

Guy and girl are having conversation. Conversation dies down. Guy looks down towards his crotch.

Guy: Well, it ain't gonna suck itself.

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Ralph Fiennes and Liam Niesson are the same person. (That's the last movie thing).

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Sports. Not much this weekend. Combine action, college hoops heating up, the NBA had many games as boring as The Reader.

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What happened to the Missouri Valley? Used to be the top of the mid-majors, now it could be a one-bid league for the second-straight season.

Meanwhile it looks like Davidson must get the auto-bid from the Southern Conference to have a chance to make it back to the dance. 1-4 against the RPI top-50 ain't gonna cut it.

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That was pretty funny when that kid jumped in the shit in Slumdog. Speaking of shit, be on the lookout this week...

Red Sox movie to become official movie of the commonwealth?

There are bad decisions and horrible ones. This seems to fall somewhere in the middle.

Massachusetts Rep. William Brownsberger hasn't seen "Fever Pitch," but that hasn't stopped him from making a pitch to have the 2005 Red Sox flick starring Drew Barrymore and Jimmy Fallon named the official movie of the commonwealth.

All right, Bill. Can we call you Bill? Go see "Fever Pitch." If you then decide to make it an official anything, we'll be shocked.

Jimmy Fallon would be better off writing and Drew Barrymore used to ride the short bus. So to pair them in a romantic comedy around the Red Sox seems like a pretty solid idea. It's about as good of an idea as making a coming-of-age comedy about a peanut butter sandwich. (Jack Black would play the peanut butter, Dane Cook the jelly. Naturally).

[Boston Herald via Ben Maller].

Best movie series of all time

Last Indiana Jones post, we swear.

Speaking of Indy, anyone see it yet? Spoiler-free reviews? How's Harrison Ford look at 96?

Our excitement over the new movie is clear and it got us thinking if it's the best movie series of all time. Very well might be.

Some other trilogies/series that come to mind:

Die Hard
Lethal Weapon
Star Wars
Scream
Care Bears

So, the best movie series of all time...?