Rabbi wins date with Oksana Baiul and her penis

A New York rabbi won ice skater Oksana Baiul at an auction and will likely try to have sex with her, which sounds sort of like prostitution.

What's a date with ice skating queen Oksana Baiul worth? To an Upper West Side rabbi, $2,500. At the other night's Spicerack Fashion Show, host Ray Ellin auctioned off a dinner date with the Ukrainian, who was celebrating her 31st birthday. The winning bidder, a 40-something rabbi, said, "Well, I'm single, it's for charity, and she seems like a nice Jewish girl. I guess I'm the luckiest guy in my congregation."

That's exactly what the rabbi is looking for: a nice Jewish girl. Or some hot, steamy, expensive sex. Take that, celibacy! Who wouldn't want to bump uglies with this hot, sultry...

Wait a sec. Oksana Baiul looks like a man. Like what the fuck? Didn't she used to be hot? She looks like she got steamrolled by an ugly machine. And then she was beaten with a series of blunt objects. And then maybe she suffered some scarring. And maybe she's an amputee. And she might have a penis.

[NY Post via Ben Maller]