Brad Lidge's visit with his shrink

Doc: How are you feeling, Brad.

Brad: How do you think I'm feeling?

Doc: It's good to talk about your emotions.

Brad: You want emotion?! I'll give you some emotion.

(Shrink checks watch)

Doc: Talk about your day Monday.

Brad: I woke up. Too early. Had eggs for breakfast, a protein shake. Thought about bacon, but thought better of it.

Doc: You can pass over the minute details, Brad.

Brad: I knew something was wrong the minute I got up. Same body. Same face. Same, um, ya know.

Doc: Go on.

Brad: I just...

Doc: It's OK.

Brad: I knew right away. Before I even got to the ballpark.

Doc: What happened when you got there?

Brad: Coach G. called me into his office.

Doc: What'd he say?

Brad: Right away he had that look on his face. It was too still. Like something bad had happened. Then he said it.

(Shrink checks watch)

Doc: Continue.

Brad: He said that Wheelie was going to take the job.

Doc: Talk about your feelings right then.

Brad: I wanted to lean across the table and rip that fucking mustache off his face. I wanted to to take my 95+ MPH heat to his balls...but I didn't...I just sat there. I nodded. I stood up and left.

Doc: How's your relationship with Dan?

Brad: I hate him.

Doc: You don't mean that. Just because he rubbed it in a little...

Brad: I want him to fail. Go up in flames. That's my job and I want it back.

(Shrink checks watch)

Doc: We're making progress.

Brad: You're making progress, Doc. I just lost my fucking job.

Doc: We're taking strides today, Brad.

Brad: Whatev.

Doc: I think we're ready to start talking about your mother.

Brad: She was a whore and you know it.

(Shrink checks watch)

Doc: This is going to help you get back on track. We've had a good talk today.

Brad: Doc, I'm a loose fucking cannon. I just hinted that I wanted to kill my manager. I don't think that's healthy.

Doc: Emotion is healthy. You're expressing your feelings.

Brad: So what happens if I don't get my job back?

Doc: Then I'll prescribe something stronger.

Brad: Can't you do that anyway?