Monday, July 10, 2006

Kerry Wood loses season, arm

CHICAGO -- Cubs veteran starting pitcher Kerry Wood's season looks to be over after his right arm fell off Sunday.

Wood, the 1998 NL Rookie of the Year, has had two injury plagued seasons in a row, culminating with the news today that his arm actually detached from his body during a series of range-of-motion tests he was undergoing in an attempt to diagnose his latest shoulder troubles.

"I'm pretty fucking pissed," a visibly distraught Wood told sources. "I have a bad feeling the Cubs won't pick up my $13 million option for next season."

The question now becomes whether Wood will be able to pitch again.

"Clearly Kerry is out for the season," Cubs trainer Mark O'Neal told various sources. "But I'm optimistic that the fantastic doctors who have been providing his care will be able to get him back onto the field next year."

Cubs GM Jim Hendry wasn't as sure: "Sadly, I think this might be the end of the road for Kerry. He was a great player for us, and we wish him the best. But let's be real. His fucking arm fell off. It's not attached to his body any more. I'm not sure what Mark (O'Neal) has been smoking, but I'd like some."

Wood has stated that he will undergo arm re-attachment surgery and begin rehab next month. While a major league pitching career may no longer be feasible, he hopes to regain at least partial use of his arm.

Jose Canseco offered his condolences, and stated that "If all else fails, I'm sure the Surf Dawgs will pick you up."

In other news: After the Red Sox and White Sox played 19 innings Sunday, MLB has decided to move the All-Star game to Chicago.

-Jamie Costello

Jamie is a grad student at the University of Washington. He didn't go to work today because, "I didn't feel like it."

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