Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Bode Miller can now fail at baseball

The same guy who won as many medals in the 2006 Winter Olympics as Charlie Sheen has Oscars is now heading from the black diamond to the baseball diamond. (See that last thing about black diamond and baseball diamond? It's using a skiing reference and a baseball reference. There are many professional writers who get paid for coming up with clever shit like that).

Bode Miller, more famous for his diet of beer, tequila and 16-year-olds than for his athleticism, is making his way to the baseball field. Miller signed a one-year deal with the Nashua (N.H.) Pride of the independent CanAm League Monday, which is about 27 steps away from actual baseball. The article does not mention what position Miller will play, but he seems like he'd be an Armando Benitez type -- a high-profile guy with a big salary, lots of blown saves and the hatred of the fans.

As for the picture -- courtesy of those wacky fellas over at Deadspin -- well, let's just say Bode hasn't been seen with girls like that since his shutout in the Olympics. On second thought, these are exactly the girls (or perhaps transvestite) he's been hanging out with since.

Yeah, Bode Miller. Baseballer.

Edit: Ok, it's official. We're morons. It's a one-game contract, not one-year.

In other baseball news: Ryan Howard won the homerun derby Monday after bending David Wright over his knee and snapping him in half.

27 comments:

twins15 said...

LOL. I can definitely see this ending well! :D

Mini Me said...

Bode Miller is such a bum haha. He should go play with Canseco.

Anonymous said...

wow - nice bode slamming agenda! bode rocks.

Anonymous said...

It's a one-game contract, and it's raising money for the Lance Armstrong foundation. Maybe you should actually read what you link to. Idiot.

NFL Adam said...

It's a joke. Get over yourself.

NFL Adam said...

That was, of course, aimed at the anonymous a-hole from above. Must be Bode Miller's sponsor.

Anonymous said...

This makes me proud to be from New Hampshire

Anonymous said...

bode is one of the greatest american skiers ever.


these comments make you look like a retard.

Anonymous said...

It's so much cooler to sit on your dorm bed with your dick in your hand, blogging. Who'd want to be a a world champion, multi-millionaire when you can write snarky, inaccurate horseshit about them instead. Rock on douche bag. Maybe someday you'll finish that degree...

NFL Adam said...

If this website is so terrible, why bother wasting your time posting anonymous messages on it, when that valuable time could be spent tonguing Bodie's taint?

Zach Landres-Schnur said...

ooh, people are angry today...wow, didn't think a guy like bode would get so much support.

JMC said...

I love anonymous hate mail. If you're gonna talk shit, be man enough to own up to it.

Oh, and get a sense of humor.

Anonymous said...

You're obviously as clueless about ski racing as the mainstream media morons who covered the 2006 Olympics. I know a lot more about baseball, basketball and football than I do about skiing, but I did take the time to do some research. If you bothered to do any homework instead of jumping on the bandwagon of the melodramatic US media, you would know that he was already one of the greatest American male ski racers in history prior to the Olympics, not only was he the first American male skier to win the overall World Cup Title in over 20 years in 2005, but the 2 silver medals he won in the Salt Lake Olympics in 2002 ties him for the most by any US male alpine skier in Olympic history. He also has many other titles to his credit and was this first to use the hour glass shaped ski that is standard today. He's considered one of the all time greats and an innovator of equipment by his peers.

If you had bothered to do any research you would also know that he hurt his knee early in the season and recently had surgery to repair it. Even with that injury, he still finished third, not far from second, in the World Cup overall standings this year. He hever said he was going to win 5 medals or any medals at all. With his injury and based upon his results this past season, fihishing 5th and 6th in two races and almost winning the combined except for barely hooking a tip was nothing to be ashamed of. He also does a lot of charity work in his off time. What accomplishements have you got on your resume?

I personally think his honesty is refreshing and what he does in his off time is his business. He's young, hot and single, why shouldn't he enjoy himself? Don't think that a lot of the other male athletes weren't taking in a little of the night life as well. They just didn't have the media focusing on them. I love sports, but the Olympics is about the coming togehter of cultures as well I wouldn't stay holded up in a room the entire time either.

Anonymous said...

I meant to say I wouldn't stay holed up on a room the whole time. I can spell...

JMC said...

Nobody is denying that Miller was or possibly still is a great skier and great guy. But it's FUNNY that he stunk in the Olympics (after seeming overconfident going in), and now is trying another sport, whether or not it be for charity. You see, this is a comedic sports blog, not the news media. It's about making people laugh and commenting on sports.

In case you were wondering, Kerry Wood's arm didn't actually fall off.

Anonymous said...

i work in minor league baseball and i can tell you they are doing this for 2 reasons

A- to help the charity
B- marketing, they need people in the seats, and a NH native who made such a stir in the last year is the way to get HUGE press (as you can see they already have) in adition to putting butts in the seats

its a one day contract, and not a joke, they got a special exemption from the league

PCskibum said...

Im not going to comment on how great a skier he is, but let me tell you he his a tip top, world class, olympic partier. No details but I have been with him into the wee hours of the morning and into the next day and, just like in his skiing, he is relentless with an unbelievable motor. Oh and the comment about the 16 year olds, so not true... they were 15.

Zach Landres-Schnur said...

PCskibum has it all right...miller is a huge partier and yes, a very good athlete.

this is a humor website, so we're trying to poke fun where possible.

NFL Adam said...

And you thought soccer fans were defensive.

Anonymous said...

Bode is fine ! Leave him alone !!! (bode, friends, delaware etc, don't forget)

skimarcus said...

To all you fellas out there who are big Bode Miller bashers, I wonder how many of you have actually ski raced in your lives. I've been doing it for the past seven years and am now racing in college, and believe me, it is most likely the hardest sport to become dominant at.

There are so many different factors that go into each race - snow conditions, physical health, mindset, getting the right skis - that sometimes you just get a plain old crappy luck.

Oh, and to anyone who makes the argument that all Bode's partying got him out of shape for ski season which is why he did so poorly, why is it he was able to compete in every single race for the past two years, whereas other racers decide to take some races off because they're too fatigued. The guy goes balls-to-the-wall everytime out. Whether he finishes or not, he's just trying to go as fast as possible, and as a racer I admire that.

Anonymous said...

Interesting website with a lot of resources and detailed explanations.
»

Anonymous said...

I find some information here.

XCchick said...

This article is amazing!!!! definantly made me laugh!!!! Now my thoughts about Bode. He can be a good ski racer but at othertimes he can be terrible. one thing that sticks out in my mind is when he ski half of a downhill race on one ski. he has amazing strength and determination. but do I think he is a good athlete? no. an athlete is a role model for others. I don't feel Bode is a good role model at all. sure he is honest about partying and many others party too. the problem I have with it is that he admits showing up to a race drunk and saying that he didn't learn a lesson from it. that would be like any of us showing up to work drunk. on top of it I think Bode is too full of himself. Also to be a good racer of cometator in any sport you need to be consistent and know your limits. the trick is to push to your limits not past them. Bode pushes past his limits too much. In practice that's fine but he says he likes to experiment in competition. he eather does really well or disqualifies. well this article is great!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

umm i no od miller isnt that great of a person but u cant take away the fact that he still is a 2 time Olympic medalist. like comeon. and can-am league is 27 steps from real baseball???i hope you realize that the majority of ppl that play in this league were division 1 baseball players for the majority. so if you think d1 players are a joke then your a joke yourself.

Anonymous said...

wow - can't he get quality girls? you would think someone of his status would be photographed with a natural beauty rather than an overweight, overbleached, fake tanned and fake hair extioned broad like that all over the internet. Geez, bode have some taste for God's sake!! this is quite embarrassing!

Anonymous said...

[p]These Beats By [url=http://www.hdbeatsbydre.co.uk]beats by dre uk[/url] Dr Dre headphones are of the earbud style and are adorned with some bling . How do you taste the actual composer隆炉s feelings? The solution is in reality a set of fantastic headphones is your [url=http://www.hdbeatsbydre.co.uk]beats by dre headphones[/url] best selection . Beats隆炉 sound technology has already made its way into the HP Envy Beats Editionand a number of HTC smartphones . In my personal [url=http://www.hdbeatsbydre.co.uk]beats by dr dre headphones[/url] opinion, this limit doesn隆炉t damage the reputation of the name of Monster Beats . Consumer can spend money on these mind phones with the aid of on the web process . 1/8 [url=http://www.hdbeatsbydre.co.uk]beats by dre headphones uk[/url] in order to 1/4隆氓 Tilpasningsstykke Related topics articles . A whole lot of stars and classy people all swagger via the streets in their Monster Beats headphones . These white Beats By Dre headphones have a high risk of getting accidentally lost and misplaced because there [url=http://www.hdbeatsbydre.co.uk]beats by dr dre[/url] is no wire to hold the two units together.[/p]