Monday, August 13, 2007

The Yankees are coming on strong

I recognize that smell, motherfucker. It's the smell of fear. And you all are living in fear. We're coming faster than a 15-year-old getting his first tugjob.

Eight of nine, motherfucker. Sweep the Tribe. We go from 14 and a half back to just four games behind the Sox. Don't even try to wipe this smile off my face, motherfucker.

They could just give me Manager of the Year right now. If they don't want to, that's fine. I don't need a trophy to validate how fucking awesome I am. I can get a hooker to do that. Or Jeter. Captain Pussyman would tell me my ass looks good in baseball pants if I asked him to. I wouldn't. That'd be fucked. But you get the point.

And don't think for a second I'm concerned about Seattle. C'mon, Richie Sexson? He might be the worst hitter to ever hold a bat. And Weaver?! Don't get me started. Getting rid of him was the best thing this franchise has done besides hiring me.

We might as well just call the season right now. I mean, they can finish out the season and all, but they should just hand over the World Series trophy now. My fingers are feeling a bit bare. It's either another ring or I'm going to go splurge on some blow. A man has needs, ya know? Buying myself gifts from time to time is completely normal.

Did we get sidetracked? We did. Sorry. Let's talk more about how my team is gonna make your team look like the fucking Pony League All-Stars. We're so strong right now, we might never lose again. Fuck it. We'll rip off 50 in a row. Think that might be a record. But records are meant to be broken, bitch.

Don't even bother looking over your shoulder. Give us a week, and you'll be looking straight ahead. Motherfucker.

10 comments:

twins15 said...

I called this like a month ago... they were badly underperforming their record... it was just a matter of time, really.

SlickBomb said...

Torre is too busy drooling and shitting in his diapers to be saying anything, much less talking smack.

Got a chuckle out of me, though.

mlmintampa said...

I prefer to imagine my Joe Torre from 'Ball Four'; so ugly he could break a camera.

But Torre shit talking the Red Sox is also fun.

rstiles said...

All I know, the Red Sox assholes are so tight you couldn't pull a string through it....

Jose said...

:: applause::

Just awesome. Joe, whatever you do, just don't use up Joba too much alright? Let's go Yanks ...

GMoney said...

Joba, P-Diddy Hughes, Melky, Cano, and Ian Kennedy...the future is bright in NY.

Anonymous said...

Where are all the Sox fans?

They must all be choking on something.

airforcebrat said...

Yankees Suck!!! Always have, always will. They have had the best record since the all star break....oh by the way they've also had the easiest schedule since the all star break!

Kevin Hayward said...

Sweet picture. I have to agree that the Yankees' chances of making the playoffs are looking stronger every day.

Kasey Loessberg said...

I was one of the many who were writing off the Yankees. Amazing run.

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