Our negotiation would go something like this: "This is Single A, our seat is in right field, there are no cheerleaders, there are no girls grinding on our lap, the ticket was overpriced, we're far too sober, the foul pole doesn't have a girl sliding down it, and 'Sweet Dreams' isn't playing between innings."
The Fort Myers Miracle, a Single-A minor league baseball team in the Florida State League, will poke fun at the Florida Gators coach who backed out of his deal with the Orlando Magic when it hosts "Billy Donovan Night" on June 20.Just like Donovan escaped his five-year, $27.5 million contract with the Magic, fans can try and negotiate their way out of their ticket purchase.
The contract, in this case, is the ticket. Fans will have up to the first three innings to restructure their deal, but even that's negotiable.
The price of the ticket, the seat location and even a buyout can be arranged. Part of the negotiating process will involve making a free throw.
Their rebuttal: "This is a baseball game, Sir. Not a Gentleman's club."
Us: "What's your point?"
Oh, and what the fuck does a free throw have to do with anything? We'll take it though. 90%, bitches. We're getting our lap dance in our seat behind home plate for five bucks, thank you very much.
By the way, that's a picture of a Fort Myers Miracle player, who, from the looks of it, has beat us to the whole stripper at the ballpark thing.