You can bet on Rollie Massimino's face-time

Hey, Villanova's in the Final Four. The last time the Wildcats were there was 1985 when they won the championship. The coach? Rollie Massimino. Guess what? He's still alive and still likes going to basketball games! Someone at CBS just got a little wet.

According to Bodog, there is a prop bet on how many times we'll see Massimino on CBS' telecast Saturday when 'Nova takes on North Carolina. The over/under on how many times he'll be shown has been set at 3.5.

Over. Duh. If it was FOX, though, the over/under would probably be set at 10. And somehow we'd see shots of the Ohio State marching band.

[Ben Maller]

The tourney's five most recognizable coaches

We're down to just 16 teams, but five coaches stand out for other reasons. Certain coaches, no matter what uniform their players are wearing, are recognizable based on their distinct appearances. Whether it's their facial expressions, type of suit or overall demeanor, some guys just stand out.

Unlike the list of coaches with the most distinct appearance we ran last year, this list won't have legendary names. But this group is certainly distinguishable.

As with any list, your disagreements, omissions and hate speech are welcomed in the comments.

The top five most recognizable coaching appearances from the 2009 NCAA Tournament:

5. Jim Boeheim, Syracuse:


Syracuse's head honcho has the "I can't believe that just happened!" look permanently etched on his face. Whether it's a bad call, his player making a mistake or the opponent hitting a game-winner, Boeheim's look is pretty much always the same. That facial expression may or may not change when his team wins.

4. Bruce Pearl, Tennessee:


The orange suit stands out, sure, but that's a rarity. What's notable about Pearl is that he's a profuse sweater. In a close game? He'll soak through his suit. Visual proof that he's working hard from the sidelines can't upset Vols fans.

3. Jay Wright, Villanova:


A multiple winner of GQ's Fashionable Four for the best-dressed college basketball coach, Wright stands out with his double-breasted, pinstriped and three-piece suits. Hey, gotta look the part.

2. John Beilein, Michigan:


Who needs a jacket? Beilein is good for the dress shirt, tie and khakis. The signature rolled up sleeves just play into his blue-collar style of basketball. Nothing fancy, just get the job done.

1. Tim Floyd, USC:


Floyd took notes from the John Chaney School of Coaching with the loosened tie, messy hair and overall disheveled appearance. He looks like he just finished a long day of work and needs to settle down with the History Channel and some Beam. Coaching basketball is hard work, dammit.

This is March MADNESS!

This year's NCAA Tournament has yet to provide the magic of March, so we turn to the CollegeInsider.com Postseason Tournament for our heroics. The video is of last night's quarterfinal game between Oakland and Bradley. The Golden Grizzlies hit a jumper with 0.9 seconds to break a 73-73 tie. Then, the Braves Theron Wilson inbounded the ball to Chris Roberts.

Lee Hall from Peoria, Illinois' WEEK News 25 with the less-than-adequate highlights.




"One shining moment..."

Let's dance

One of the best things about our old job -- where we worked horribly shitty hours on nights and weekends -- was that days like today, we could watch most of the tournament uninterrupted.

Not the case anymore. We'll be away from a computer, TV and any source of Internet for much of the day, speculating who's sweating out a tough game, who's blowing someone out, and what Mid-Major is already getting fitted for that slipper.

But for everyone who will be near technology, welcome to the best day of the year!

Going to work? Good luck getting anything done. If you do more than five minutes of real, actual work, ask for that raise. If your boss catches you watching games on your computer, well, we'd go the route of reasoning with him. If your boss ain't cool with sneaking in eight hours of hoops coverage, he is an asshole and probably runs an Indonesian child porn ring on the side. If your asshole boss does catch you, try saying one of these things.

Or, as we talked about last week, DON'T GO TO FUCKING WORK! Today and tomorrow should probably be national holidays, but unfortunately we get Columbus Day instead. FUCK THAT!

Really, though. If you (and every other person in every other office in every other city) does 15 minutes of work today, the world won't fall apart. It will only get stronger.

Today is a day for people to bond. Make a new friend in the office. Learn more about your secretary who went to Villanova. Maybe even get tight with your cool boss who's a huge Michigan State fan.

Just soak it in. There's today and tomorrow and then we have to wait another full year -- a year full of doing actual work -- before enjoying the true Madness again. Be excited, root hard, and please don't let your team have a tragic fucking loss. That would really take the fun out of it. And today is supposed to be filled with fun.

Let's dance...

Who the fuck is Stephen F. Austin?

We love March Madness not only for the exciting basketball, the office pool, and the bracketology, but also for the exposure that all these random, almost unheard of colleges get when they earn the auto-bid from their no-name conference. But seeing all these small schools inevitably brings up the question of who these schools are named after.

Stephen F. Austin State University is going dancing for the first time ever after winning the Southland Conference tournament. The Lumberjacks were the top seed in the conference tournament for the second straight year, and they finally broke through for their first NCAA tournament appearance. So it begs the question: Who the fuck is Stephen F. Austin?

No surprise here: Stephen Fuller Austin is the namesake of the capital of Texas, Austin. He's known as the "Father of Texas" after leading the colonization effort in the area that later became the state. He first brought colonists to Texas in the 1820s, and soon became an empresario (someone who was allowed to settle in Mexican land, but had to recruit and take responsibility for new immigrants). He brought hundreds of families to Texas and guided the formation of a government and armed groups (precursors of the Texas Rangers). He was involved in Mexican and Texan politics until his death in 1836. Three years later Texans built the city of Austin and made it their capital.

So it seems this guy was pretty important. No wonder they named a state university after him. Why they're known as the lumberjacks is a story for another day.

And no, Stephen F. Austin State University is not in Austin. It's in Nacogdoches. Fitting.

Zach's a good guesser

If you're going to lose your NCAA bracket pool, you might as well lose it to a guy who gets paid to write about college basketball. Going into the final I was up on the big guy by a few points, and had OSU over Florida, while Zach had Florida over OSU. It all came down to the last game, winner take all, and... well we all know what happened there. So congratulations Zach, you're a damn good guesser, and your brother ain't bad either. Adam snuck in to the No. 2 spot by guessing the winner, even though he had Texas in the final. Good thing we didn't have any money on this thing. So once again, good work Zach, and happy Passover.

We're 65, Bitch

We've never bought that saying, "We're 65!" for a motherfucking second.

The NIT winner could probably beat over half of the NCAA Tournament field and Wisconsin on a yearly basis. So when West Fuckin Virgina puts the hammer down and prevents a team from the Confederate Flag-flying state of South Carolina from winning its third-straight NIT championship (South Carolina had won two straight titles), we don't want to here, "We're 65!"

Instead, the NIT reveals something much greater. The winner is one of very few teams to win its last game of the season. You have the NCAA champ, the NIT champ, and maybe a few teams so bad they didn't make their conference tourney, but somehow won their last regular-season game.

So this brings up an interesting question: What would you rather have your favorite team (let's say the Washington Huskies, because really, who's favorite team isn't the Huskies?) do: win the NIT or go out in, say, the second round of the Dance?

We'd probably go with NIT champ, in all honesty. Winning a game in the Tourney is great, but winning the last game of the season is a unique feeling that not too many teams can experience. And getting to hang a championship banner ain't half bad either.

So West Fuckin Virginia, we're envious. Cherish being the NIT champs. Because you're a whole lot better than No. 65, no matter what those douchebags at UVA tell you.

And for five credits you can bang a disease-free prostitute

News coming out of South Florida in the last 24 hours is not about the Florida basketball team. (Though we're not sure Gainesville is in South Florida anyway, and frankly we don't give a fuck; Florida is one, big, happy, hot-ass babe, sunshine-y state as far as we're concerned).

Lynn University, in Boca Raton, is giving students in its Sports Management program three credits to go to the Final Four, a Georgia Tech baseball game and a Thrashers hockey game.

They also have to do actual work that consists of whatever it is that they do for work at Lynn U, which we can't imagine is much.

We'd also like to think that a few of the kids will get laid from that slutty girl who sits in the back row in the five-star hotel they're probably staying in, and that the Emilio Estevez character will take a few lines of pure, uncut cocaine.

Still. Pretty cool. We once dropped a deuce in a pretty dirty bathroom at U-Dub. The brevity aside, we thought it was at least worth a credit.

Fuck a bracket: Ohio State can suck it

This time of year -- time of year being a.) Spring, b.) March, c.) March fucking Madness, d.) when all the sorority girls come out of the fucking woods wearing outfits that beg you to ask, "How much" -- people tend to have skewed rooting interests.

For example, we have money, pride and a night with our girl wrapped up in theOhio State. So naturally we were rooting for them. But should we have?

C'mon. The Buckeyes fucking stole those two games. Xavier had 'em. Tennessee really had 'em.

Said Vols coach Bruce Pearl after the game, "THE BEARS ARE WHO WE THOUGHT THEY WERE!!!"

Fuck are the Bears, Bruce?

It's not that we dislike OSU -- Oden is a gigantic G and Ron Lewis' G status is rapidly ascending -- but the Buckeyes probably didn't deserve to win either of those games. Seems the other teams more lost them than Ohio State won them. Either way, doesn't really matter.

But today when rooting for your team(s), just think for a second who your team really is. The one you have money on or the one you'd ordinarily want to win? With that, go Butler!

Oh, and Bruce Pearl probably ate his team in the locker room after the game. Brutal loss. Just brutal.

COLLEGE BASKETBALL!!!! CBS SPORTS!!! THIS IS MARCH MADNESS!!!!!!!

You were watching the Madness Saturday, right? For 10 hours? Forming a definte ass groove? Good. So were we.

And how could those eight games -- perhaps the best all-around day of NCAA Tourney action in a while -- gotten even better? Only if Gus Johnson called all eight of them! (He called the Ohio State/Xavier thriller with video below, and the solid game between A&M and The 'Ville).

We've always found that a good broadcaster can make a dull game exciting and a bad play-by-play guy can ruin the greatest of games.

Johnson made good games that much better Saturday.

One of the open threads over at Deadspin Saturday became the Gus Johnson thread. Some of the better comments:

-From Phony Gwnn: "WOW. Gus Johnson is going to spontaneously combust."
-From Carmen McFanzone: "Gus is now at Defcon 5."

You get the point. Johnson gets waaay excited and puts an exclamation point after pretty much everything he says. IT'S SATURDAY!!! I HAVE TO GO THE BATHROOM!!!!!!! I'LL HAVE THE TUNA MELT!!!11!!!1!!

Brilliant.

Simultaneously, NFL pregame host James Brown has gotten out of the studio and has been calling college basketball games for the first time in about 10 years. And as The Big Lead points out, yeah, perhaps Brown would be better off in the studio.

"And plus there’s no Gus Johnson, so that stinks. On the plus side, we won’t have to suffer through the awfulness that is James Brown. He’s great in the studio when NFL is your sport; he may be the worst play-by-play guy in college hoops."

Indeed.

Turns out though, that CBS brass has about zero idea what people actually want, and Johnson's duties will be "curtailed," as Brown will take over Johnson's duties calling the Regional Semis and Finals.

Remember how we said above that a bad announcer can dull even the best of games? Yeah, Brown might just do that when it really matters. At least Gus went out on a high note.

Oh, and CUBDUMB has a great post with some of Johnson's greatest hits. A must read/watch.

THIS IS MARCH MADNESS!!!!!!!

[Update: The Hog Blogger has nice best of Gus, and my boy Mr. Irrelevant has a nice take on this too.]

Your home for March Madness...

...Is certainly not here.

But we'll tell you where to go.

*Our homeboys at WBRS Sports Blog will be live-blogging the shit out of the Tourney today.

*Same goes for Awful Announcing. Always doing stellar work, AA will be assisted by Run up the Score, Extrapolater and One More Dying Quail tomorrow over at Awful Annoucning. Stop on by.

*Oh. Deadspin too. Our boy Dan Shanoff will be live-blogging there, as well as the omnipresent Mighty MJD.

Between those three sites (if there are others, email us or drop a comment and we'll update the post) you practically won't have to watch the games. But you're skipping work, right? Right?

My Boys are Getting Hated On

As a Virginia Alum I'm always intrigued when a major sports media outlet features my team, seeing as we're not exactly a major sports powerhouse. So naturally I was interested in this article by Doug Gottlieb over on ESPN.com. Now you can only read the whole thing if you're an Insider (thanks ESPN) so I'll sum it up for you. It says the Wahoos have no business being a 4 seed considering they played a pretty easy schedule (except ya know, the ACC season), and only won one meaningful game on the road (at Maryland). It also compares UVA to Texas, also a 4 seed, and a team that looks to be quite a bit stronger. His beef isn't so much that we got the 4 seed, it's that there shouldn't be such a discrepancy in the quality of the equal seeds in different regions.

Now it's no surprise that UVA didn't win away from the brand spankin' new John Paul Jones arena, because our football and basketball teams have NEVER won anything away from home (road or neutral) since I've been a Virginia fan. Now our soccer and lacrosse teams, that's a different story. The one thing I think he misses is that we came one win away from winning the ACC regular season title, and instead shared it with UNC. This is from a team picked to finish 8th in the conference. That's a big accomplishment and I like that it was rewarded with a good seed.

My point is, I'm happy to see my boys in the tournament for the first time since, what 2001? 2002? I'm too lazy to find out. My sophomore year of college - does that work for you? That being said, I pretty much agree with ol' Doug and I think we bow out early. I have us going down to the creamsicle boys (that would be Tennessee) in the 2nd round, while I have Texas making the Final Four. So the guy is right, we shouldn't be a 4 seed. Or Texas shouldn't. Or both. What do I know? There's a reason Zach writes this blog full time and I only chip in now and then.

GO WAHOOS!!

-Jameson Costello

Fuck the NIT. And fuck you. (Sorry, we didn't mean that)

Those of you who have been playing here at our little site for a while know that we're big Washington Huskies fans. It's been a tough year in Huskyville, but hey, it was a young team and a rebuilding year.

The Dawgs went 19-13, 8-10 in the Pac-10 and had some good wins. U-Dub beat UCLA, Oregon and USC. They were feel-good wins in a lost season.

Sure, we knew UW wasn't going dancing this season, but we were anticipating an NIT game in a very strong NIT field. Maybe even at home.

What's that? Washington didn't make the NIT? Really? Oh, well fuck you very much then.

Strange. We've been ripping the Stanford Cardinal pretty good over at The 'House, who, after tossing the Selection Committee's collective salad, are dancing.

A little comparison, if you will.

Stanford:

Record: 18-12, 10-8 Pac-10
RPI: 65
Big Wins: Washington State, UCLA, at Virginia, Texas Tech.
Notable Loss: At home against Air Force. By 34. Thirty fucking four.

Washington:

Record: 19-13, 8-10 Pac-10
RPI: 81
Big Wins: UCLA, Oregon, USC, Stanford.
Notable Loss: Oregon State.

Those resumés aren't all that different. And the NIT committee -- may they rot in hell -- thinks that UW is 32 teams worse than the Cardinal?

We're confused. Then again Arkansas got an at-large bid and Drexel got an NIT three-seed. Is Josh Heytvelt dealing now? Gotta be.

Here's a list of the eight-person selection committee. In case you want to get a hold of them for any particular reason.

Blind Resumé

Two disclaimers:

1. The "Would you do..." Tournament will continue tomorrow.
2. It's March. It's fucking March! You know what that means?! March Madness! Do you have it? We do! (FYI, the beginning of this post is overly punctuated with exclamation points. Sorry. But hey, we're excited!)

Anyway, this time of year we get very wrapped up in both the bubble watch and also the small conference tourneys. The NCAA Tournament is hands down the most exciting sporting event of the year, so any opportunity to talk, think or read about it, we jump on. So today, we're going to play a little game, that you might or might not be familiar with.

We'll present two bubble teams' resumés. Your job is simple. In the comments, say which team deserves to get in and which one doesn't. (If you think both are in -- or out -- suggest who you view as the better team). Also, throw out your best idea of who these resumés belong to.

Since this is one of those blind item things -- sorta like they do over at the wonderful site The Big Lead from time to time -- we won't tell you who the teams are. Check back at 5 p.m. Pacific for an update revealing the teams.

OK, folks. Let's play...BLIND RESUMÉ!

Team A:

Record: 19-11 (7-9 conference)
RPI: 46
Strength of schedule: 22
Against RPI Top 50: 4-11
Last 10: 5-5

Team B:

Record: 24-8 (15-3 conference)
RPI: 33
Strength of schedule: 91
Against RPI Top 50: 3-2
Last 10: 9-1

*Computer numbers as of late Sunday.

Who dances?

[Update: Sorry, 5 p.m. turned into 6:04. Our bad. You generously-endowed devils are good! Team A is Florida State. Team B is Old Dominion. Will ODU get the at-large? Will the Seminoles get one if they don't win the ACC Tourney? We'll find out in less than a week!]