Monday, September 24, 2007

Teams we can all root against

It doesn't matter what city they're in, what sport they play, or what uniforms they wear. Certain teams fucking suck. And there are a lot of teams out there who, we believe, everyone can collectively hate.

So we put together a list -- organized by sport -- of some teams that we think we can all root against together.

Call us out in the comments if we're way off. And, of course, leave your thoughts on the teams you personally hate (think: geographical reasons). Our list of teams we hate will lead things off.

Let the hate begin...


Red Sox
- Most obnoxious fans, evah. Fack you, ya facking queers.
Yankees - Like we need a reason.


- See Red Sox comment. And Brady's a cockweasel.
Cowboys - You just know the owner of America's Team was once a card-carrying member of the KKK.


Lakers - Yeah, ugh, Kobe raped somebody.

College football:

Notre Dame - Who's on your side now, bitch?
Alabama - Really it's just Nick Saban people hate. He's a cunt.

College basketball:

Duke - A few reasons: Laettner. Hurley. Battier. Redick. Coach K.
North Carolina - Powder blue is a fucking girl's color.

All right, folks. Spew your hate in the comments...


The Big Picture said...


Dodgers - We're Giants fans.
Cubs - They gotta stop playing the "Loveable Losers" card. When you have an $100 mil payroll, it's hard to like you.


Steelers - We think Big Ben's a bitch.
Seahawks (sorta) - fairweather fans up here. (and a divison foe of the 49ers).

College -

As a UW alum, gotta root against Oregon and Washington State big.

Also hate Gonzaga and UCLA. In everything. Even fucking tennis. Gonzaga tennis can go fuck itself.

NBA - Just the Lakers...maybe Boston and the Knicks a bit too.

Luke Bell said...

I agree with the Cubs. Fuck them.

Abrassive said...


Cardinals - Stop the lovefest.


Any team that plays in a dome, pussies.


All of them.

College -

ND any team thats tight with the WWL can't be liked

GMoney said...

The Celtics. Terrible fans, Bill Simmons, and their new all star team.

Eagles - Philly fans suck and McNabb hates whitey.

Giants - Eli Manning and Tiki Barber.

james brown stains said...

livin in WI

fuck the Bears
fuck the Cubs
fuck the Illini (whatever the fuck that is)
fuck Northwestern... just loosing to them can cause you to be a laughing stock

JMC said...

the packers. they can suck it. and brett favre needs to fucking make up his mind already.

the tampa bay rays. they are a waste of a franchise. they draft all the good players you want for your team and then suck anyway. plus they're making new uniforms next year that are totally lame.

god I fucking hate the dodgers. and duke. and Florida State, but that's more of an ACC thing. Oh and I hate the fucking Rams. Greatest show on turf my ass.

Mac G said...

No mention of Notre Dame? Screw USC too.

rstiles said...

I only hate 1 team


Anonymous said...

Philly fans only suck to you because we can kick your ass =), oh and because we totally beat the shit outta Santa, that was awesome too.

Brian said...

Broncos/Syracuse/Gators and their ilk- Can we permanently do away with the orange/blue color scheme?

Utah Jazz- Utah is the least jazzy place I've ever seen.

Phoenix anything- The fans suck, and hockey in Phoenix is like Danny DeVito in bed with a supermodel.

Anonymous said...

I HATE Notre Dame and everyone else should too. Here are some reasons:

Charlie Weis is FAT.

They get the most undeserved hype in all of sports.

ESPN worships them for no reason.

Charlie Weis is FAT.

Jimmy Clausen is GAY.

They think they are sweet for staying independent, with their precious NBC. They wouldn't go .500 in the B10.

Their mascot is a leprechaun.

Did I mention Charlie Weis is FAT.

ND Sucks.

rstiles said...

Damn - anonymous must really hate FAT people...

Sevenmack said...

NHL: Montreal Canadiens. Because they have long been the New York Yankees of hockey and their fans are even bigger douchebags than their Yankees counterparts.

NBA: Celtics and Bulls. Since you've already listed the Lakers

College football: Ohio State. Hey, I'm a Michigan fan for good and ill. Besides it's Ohio State.

T.C. Hill said...

the yankees and usc

they are the worst

NFL Adam said...

Somebody ought to make a website with this idea.

BTW, why are the Lakers on this list and not Boston. Screw the Celtics for the same reasons you hate the Sawks and Patriots, plus they are Catholic too. What more reason do you have to hate them?

Anonymous said... an Ohio State fan I felt compelled to respond.

Muck Fichigan.

Plus, they think they're hot shit but they are 2-2 and have blown their best chance at a title already. Michigan may be one of the most perennially overrated teams this decade. Whenever they get ranked high in the preseason, they fall flat. Whenever they get ranked low, they achieve a lot and then blow it late (either to OSU or a bowl game).

Anonymous said...

CFB - Iowa Hawkeyes all the fans i know are just clueless d-bags

Scott K. said...

I'm a diehard Cubs fan, but I totally understand you guys fucking HATING us. The loveable losers thing was just cooked up to get us through the depressing 90's.

Dinur said...

College football:
U$C - fucking bandwagon/gangster wannabe fans, the arrogance runs like water in south central

Dodgers (I'm a bigger A's fan than Giants, but still, who can cheer for the Dodgers), Red Sox, Yankees (you said it beautifully for both)

Cowboys - as a Niners fan, I think I'm obligated to hate on em

Patriots - bandwagon fans, Bellicheat, etc.

Packers - as a Cal fan, I want to see Aaron Rodgers out there. The hate is pretty much reserved for Brett Favre. Retire already, old man.

No team hate, but I fucking hate Ed Belfour.

Anonymous said...

NHL..Rangers... buy the league and still suck

NFL...cowboys..romo is a fag and only the cowboys would actually sign tank johnson..Giants..just b/c i dislike most NY teams and Eli is a little girl

MLB..Yanks and Sox..both are overblown with the most annoying fans ever..Mets..Does Paul LoDuca complain and then get thrown out about every called 3rd strike?

Sevenmack said...

And Anonymous, Ohio State may win the Big Ten, but it's gonna be blown out by some Big-12 or SEC team in January. As much of a Big Ten fan as I am -- and I am a Michigan fan, for sure -- the Big Ten is overrated. And Fuckhio State, the most overrated of all.


Sevenmack said...

Anonymous 2:22: Apparently, you're an Islanders fan. Happy losing this season as the Rangers go to the Stanley Cup finals.

Anonymous said...

NFL- Cowboys- the owner has had more plastic surgery than Carmen Electra

MLB- Red Sox- here's to another 90 years of 2nd place. Chowdah-heads

NHL- Devils- they have fans? Or just people who couldn't get Rangers, Islanders or Flyers tickets?

Basketball- every team, worst sport ever.

Anonymous said...

i think the red sox need to be taken off the list because they are still the anti-yankees, no matter how much they have become to resemble the yankees, and we all know the yankees are the worst thing to ever happen to sports

Anonymous said...

actually sevenmack, I'm a Flyer fan. We won't win the cup this year, but we will be much improved

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