Since our big plans for today fell through, we had to come up with a makeshift post. So we're gonna have an aristocrats contest. In the comments, give us your best version of the joke. Winner gets a shoutout or link or handjob sometime next week. Bonus points if you make it sports related.
Here's what we could come up with:
Bill Belichick walks into a talent agency. He says, "Boy, do I have the act for you." The agent says, "OK. I'll take a look."
Bill is sitting in the corner and starts jerking off. Enters his ex-wife Debby and two sons, Stephen and Bryan. Bryan starts fucking his mom in the ass and Stephen starts sucking up Bill.For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And Belichick says, "The Aristocrats!"
In comes daughter Amanda who starts tossing Stephen's salad. Bill's done with his hummer, and comes around Amanda and starts fucking her in the ass. Amanda, an ass virgin, loses control of her bowels and starts shitting everywhere.
In comes Grandpa who starts banging Debby, who, conveniently, is on her period. There's still shit everywhere and Bill gets pissed at daughter Amanda and cuts off her arm with a samurai sword.
Bill then makes Stephen start fucking the hole where Amanda's arm used to be. Everyone's masturbating.
Bryan can't go anymore and starts cumming everywhere. In comes Spot and he starts fucking Grandma. Grandpa gets pissed and starts fucking the dog in the ass while the pup's giving it to Grandma.
There's blood! There's shit! There's cum!
At this point, Amanda's losing blood, everybody's cumming and in comes Barbaro. Barbaro starts fucking Bill with his monster horse cock. Bill loses control of his bowels and he starts shitting everywhere. Debby pees on Barbaro and Barbaro releases a volcano of horse jiz all over the place.
Tom Brady, jealous of all of this, comes in and shoots everybody dead, except for Belichick. There's more blood then both can handle and they start fucking the dead corpses. Even Barbaro gets plowed, and he's now twice over dead.
Brady finishes his fucking and blows his load all over the shit- and blood-covered area. Belichick nuts again, all over Tom. They both hug, kiss and take a bow.