Wednesday, May 02, 2007
The NL Central seems upside down
No, you're not drunk. Well, you might be. Are you? It's pretty early for that, no? Boss wouldn't much appreciate that. If he asks what's on your breath, tell him it's mouthwash. He'll never suspect a thing.
But you are reading that graphic of the NL Central standings correctly. Milwaukee...hold that thought...
Wayne Campbell: So, do you come to Milwaukee often?
Alice Cooper: Well, I'm a regular visitor here, but Milwaukee has certainly had its share of visitors. The French missionaries and explorers began visiting here in the late 16th century.
Pete: Hey, isn't "Milwaukee" an Indian name?
Alice: Yes, Pete, it is. In fact, it was originally an Algonquin term meaning "the good land."
Wayne: I was not aware of that.
Alice: I think one of the most interesting things about Milwaukee is that it's the only American city to elect three Socialist mayors.
Wayne: [to the camera] Does this guy know how to party or what?
...Sorry. We've been known to get carried away. What we really wanted to say was that the lovable Brewers are in first place -- an unusual spot for them no matter what time of year -- and hold the Majors' best record at 17 good days and 9 not-so-good days.
Sure, sure. "The Brewers are a hot, young team. They'll be there in the end. This is their year." Blah blah blah. The Brewers in first place -- albeit early -- is about as normal as, well, Alice Cooper enlightening avid fans about the city of Milwaukee.
The Brew, followed by Cincy and Pittsburgh is normal, but not when it's one, two, three. More like four, five, six. And with the Cubbies, Cards and 'Stros in the collective cellar, this division seems turned upside down.
Are we grasping at straws here? You bet we are. Very little blog-worthy action going on as we write these words. This is what happens when we get writer's block. We make sweeping, dramatic claims and try to find ideas in virtual thin air.
Anyway, we're a month into the MLB season and NL Central standings don't seem right.
Now go and get some Algonquin pussy.
[Somewhat related: What's going through Joe Torre's head.]