Monday, May 14, 2007
Jessica Alba and Fuck-Machine are, 'Go Warriors!!!'
Jessica Alba and fuck-machine Cash Warren were at last night's Warriors/Jazz playoff game. Here's how a conversation went...
Cash$: Hey baby, whaddya say we get outta here...
Al(ba)4u: There's 8:46 left in the first quarter.
Cash$: But Baron's not even playin' well.
Cash$: So, you know I only come to these games because we went to high school together.
Al(ba)4u: Tell me again sweetheart, what was Baron like in high school?
Cash$: He was cool, but I was the ladies man.
Al(ba)4u: And you still are.
(They brush noses romantically)
Cash$: So let's go home and do it.
Al(ba)4u: But we already did it once today.
Cash$: It doesn't count when it's in the butt.
Cash$: Oh c'mon baby, you know I try to do you any chance I get.
Al(ba)4u: I know, honey.
Cash$: Look at me, Jess. Look at this fucking sweater I'm wearing. Do I look like a guy who sleeps with the hottest women in the world? I look like a guy who nails high school girls with low self-esteem.
Al(ba)4u: Give yourself some credit. You were great in Fantastic Four. You're practically a star.
Cash$: Practically. Ha! Semantics.
Al(ba)4u: Hey, the Warriors just took a six-point lead.
Al(ba)4u: The game. The Warriors are up by six?
Cash$: What game?
Al(ba)4u: The Golden State game, silly.
Cash$: Who you calling silly? Bitch. You like being called Bitch, bitch?
Al(ba)4u: Baby, we're at a basketball game. Remember?
Cash$: Baron's not even playin' well.
Al(ba)4u: It's still early.
Cash$: I still think we should get outta here, grab some sushi, hit up an oxygen bar and go home.
Al(ba)4u: What if I told you that if you stay until the end of the quarter, I'll bring home a cheerleader for us.
Al(ba)4u: You heard me.
Cash$: I'll pull up the car.
Al(ba)4u: Good. I put in enough face time anyway.
Check out the wildly-funny site The Dugout for more dialogue between your favorite stars.