Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Franchise names that don't make sense

Got a case of the Tuesday's? Yeah, that didn't write so well, but you know what we mean: the start of the work week is about as popular as rug-burns.

Anyway, we read a Simmons column over the weekend. We like Bill, but he writes a bit too long and a bit too often about Boston sports. Still, there's a reason he is where he is.

In his list of reasons he loves sports, he had this item:
No. 929: The Utah Jazz
I will never get used to this: One of our most white-bread American cities roots for an NBA franchise named for a musical movement created by African-Americans. It's genuinely insane. You can brainstorm with your buddies all weekend to come up with a name for a sports franchise that makes less sense -- there's no way you're topping Utah Jazz. Not even with Dallas Indians.
OK, Bill. You're on. We'll get the ball rolling, but we're counting on you guys to help us out big time in the comments. These can be real teams or existing nicknames with new cities that make even less sense than the Utah Jazz. Are you up for the challenge? Are you?

-Los Angeles Lakers
-San Francisco 76ers
-Philadelphia 49ers
-Houston Islanders
-Washington Canadiens
-Phoenix Reign
-Portland Hurricanes
-Miami Diamondbacks

Your turn.


gilbert said...

Minnesota Texans? (Or anything Texans that isn't in Texas).

As for a real one: Los Angeles Dodgers? What makes sense about that?

GMoney said...

As far as participating in this discussion, I'd rather go jet-skiing with Marquise Hill.

That's right, bring it.

JMC said...

Detroit Gators.

mookie said...

Kansas City Seahawks
New York Cowboys
Los Angeles Penguins
Cleveland Jaguars
Toronto Yankees

tecmo_bowl_bo_jackson said...

Cincinnati Angels

too easy

McBain said...

New Orleans Hurricanes?

Oh, right. I guess that makes perfect sense.

mookie said...

Seattle Oilers.

NFL Adam said...

Do, uh, we really need to point out that the Jazz were founded in New Orleans and the Lakers came from Minnesota? That being said, there are many in the Los Angeles area who are boating enthusiasts, so it doesn't seem as far-fetched as some make it. That being said, here is my offering:

The Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim.

rstiles said...

NFL Adam hit it on the head....I still call them Anaheim....or even California.....

JMC said...

the Philadelphia Rebels and the Richmond (VA) Patriots.

derek said...

I think that's the point, Adam. After these teams moved, they should've considered changing the mascot, because it makes less sense in the new city. Yes, many in LA are boating enthusiasts, but how many lakes are there in the area?

Two more offerings:
Toronto Dolphins
Miami Maple Leafs

the butler said...

Memphis Grizzlies

JMC said...

Des Moines Metropolitans

Zach Landres-Schnur said...

you guys are good at this game! keep 'em coming!

GMoney said...

Buffalo Heat
New York Bucks
Florida Panthers
Jacksonville Jaguars
Detroit Sophisticated

derek said...

Quick point to everyone...names like Panthers, Wildcats, and Jaguars are fine for any city. At this point, teams use it as a generic team name and are not trying to imply that the Panthers, etc. are indigenous to the area.

Something more specific like the Gators works, however.

Anonymous said...

except that the panther is the state animal of Florida, therefor making it make sense, if that makes sense

mookie said...

Las Vegas Angels.

Anonymous said...

Atlanta Yankees
Minnesota Cowboys
Miami Steelers
Los Angeles Maple Leafs
Phoenix Timberwolves
Toronto Pistons

Signal to Noise said...

I always remember that when they first moved from Houston, they were the Tennessee Oilers for a couple years.

Boy, that stuck out like a sore thumb.

I volunteer "Columbus Blue Jackets." Then again, calling your team the Blue Jackets never makes sense, ever.

Yardbarker Jeff said...

Red Bull New York or the New York Red Bulls? The only thing worse than a team named after an energy drink that has nothing to do with the city/state is that they're not sure what to call it.

franchise opportunities said...

I've always wanted to know.. Why were the Oakland Raiders named the Oakland Raiders??
Please! Im dying to know this answer and plus I have a bet on it, so please tell me what you know!!

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