FOUL, you fucking idiots

How many game-tying threes in the final 10 seconds will it take before coaches realize that YOU CAN FUCKING FOUL! IT'S RIGHT THERE IN THE RULEBOOK! IF YOU MAKE CONTACT WITH THE OPPOSING PLAYER, HE GETS TO SHOOT TWO -- AS IN ONE FUCKING TWO -- FREE THROWS. You can breathe on a guy in the NBA and get called for a foul. Yet, when the game's on the line, let's let 'em take a three! Fuck, five minutes of extra basketball never hurt anyone.

If I'm an Orlando fan, I'm pulling a Tanya Harding on Stan Van Gundy's fucking kneecaps. What a devastating loss. (But strong free throw shooting by Dwight Howard at least kept the Magic in the game.)

Here comes the Ticket Mobile

With ticket sales down throughout baseball, marketing and sales departments are getting creative to get more butts in seats. Take the Dodgers' new strategy:

Call it the latest in mobile marketing. In an effort to sell more tickets to minorities, the Los Angeles Dodgers are taking to the streets with a ticket sales truck that next month will begin patrolling Hispanic and Asian neighborhoods in Los Angeles. Fashioned somewhat after the many taco vending trucks that roam the city's streets, the truck is intended to give the Dodgers a presence at shopping areas.

Taco trucks are nearly as good as side-boob and slightly better than chocolate-covered gummi bears. This promotion, albeit creative, would be a zillion times better if your upper-deck-behind-the-left-field-foul-pole seats came with tacos for four.

[Sports Business Journal via Ben Maller]

Your 2009 National League All-Star: Manny Ramirez

Always thought it would be funny to get a guy who's spent the entire first half of the season elected to the All-Star game to expose how stupid fan voting is.

Others, clearly, are with us as Vote For Manny 2009 has popped up. The site's goal:

To highlight the silliness that are the MLB rules towards PED users as well as their "head in the sand" approach to this situation. Rather than confront it head-on, MLB is choosing to do nothing and simply hope there are three higher vote getters in the NL OF.

Yeah! Let's stick it to baseball one vote at a time. Voting in any Giants position player would be funny, as well.

[Via our friends at Busted Coverage].

Sports Hate

The following is written by David Kamoe, a life-long sports fan whose sister is a close friend. David is an avid A's fan, wen to to high school with Drew Gooden and can't believe that Giants commentator Mike Krukow used to refer to the right-centerfield expanse at Pac Bell Park as "Finley Alley," referring to Steve Finley who remarkably wore a Giants uniform for a season. David will likely be stopping by these parts a few times a month, so treat him right. And no sister jokes.

I have always been cautious to say that I “hate” a team or a player. Hate -- I have always thought -- was the singular domain of people or things you truly despised: illegal wars, Republicans, the cast of The Hills, that kind of thing. That being said, reading a recent column by Bill Simmons, I came across the phrase “sports hate.” I felt this phrase allowed me the opportunity to properly classify all the disgusts I’ve ever had with a team, player or group of fans.

I could list out each and every one of these and I would like to think that I would go on forever, but I will try to confine it to one general area: Los Angeles. As a Bay Area native, I have had an almost inborn “sports hate” of Los Angeles. When I was five years old, I watched Kirk Gibson and the Los Angeles Dodgers beat the “Bash Brothers” and the 1988 Oakland A’s. Yes, I know that Canseco and McGwire juiced and I’m still angry. My “sports hate” lay dormant in terms of Los Angeles until the “Los Angeles California Angels of Orange County near the 55 and the 5” and the Oakland A’s became rivals starting in 2002.

My “sports hate” for the “Los Angeles California Angels of Orange County near the 55 and the 5” crystallized for me every time I watched Francisco Rodriguez pitch. I “sport hated” every gesticulation he made so much that I not only relished beating him but took to referring to him as a “petulant child.” Any A’s fan who remembers Jason Kendall racing home after Rodriguez got squeezed on a curveball on a Wednesday afternoon at the Coliseum knows what I talking about and is smiling. The other particulars are John Lackey and Darin Erstad but I’ll spare them -- for now.

I’ll end with a fresh wound: the Anaheim Ducks and their fans. I am not an old school San Jose Sharks fan. I don’t remember them coming into the league in 1991 or that they played at the Cow Palace. My early hockey knowledge starts with seeing the back of Toronto Maple Leaf enforcer Wendel Clark’s jersey with a blue “17” and the name “Clark” on the back. In the past year plus, however, I have jumped in with both feet. Watching Game 6 of the Western Conference semifinals last year only bolstered this enjoyment. This year, I watched almost every Sharks game and was fully fired up to watch the Sharks dismantle the Ducks. Instead, I watched as Ducks “fans” celebrated goals in the deciding Game 6. As I watched, I seethed with “sports hate.” I refused to believe these people were hockey fans or that they could name the “original 6.” (Toronto, Montreal, Boston, Detroit, Chicago, and the New York Rangers).

This, then is the LA sports “fan” a front-running bunch who know little to nothing about the details. BEAT LA! (And share your sports-hate, ugh, hate in the comments).

It's probably the beach balls and the wave: Dodgers a perfect 10-0 at Chavez Ravine

The Dodgers moved to 10-0 at home after completing a four-game sweep over San Diego yesterday. That's a franchise record or something, witnessed by 52,096. About 35,000 of those "fans" thought they were at the beach and the "beach" started in the top of the third and ended in the bottom of the seventh.

Also: The Dodgers have the worst fans in baseball. There, we said it. And fuck you for thinking we're saying that because we like the Giants and hate the fucking Dodgers and hate people who like the Dodgers or think they like the Dodgers or wear Dodgers hats or wear blue and live in L.A.

So fuck off, Dodger fans.

Love Dodger Dogs, though. Those are goooood. But we fucking hate Dodger fans who eat Dodger Dogs.

Hot Dog. Four dollars. Beer. Six dollars. Tickets to a Dodgers Spring Training game?

We're regulars in Arizona for Cactus League action in the spring. Have been for years. We have the routine down -- restaurants to go to, ballparks to see and knowledge of the hotspots in the desert.

So when the Dodgers move from Dodgertown in Vero Beach, Fla. to Arizona for Spring Training next month, catching a game at the new stadium is a must because, hey, ballparks are our favorite kind of museum.

While you can see a game in Peoria (Mariners, Padres) or Surprise (Rangers, Royals) and sit in the best seats in the quaint parks for about $30, a ticket at the Dodgers' new Glendale stadium will cost you a pretty penny.

After announcing the team's spring-training schedule the Dodgers also announced the top ticket for spring training was $125 for a premium (i.e., weekend) game. Almost 700 seats for every game will be sold at that price.

We opted for the seats in the $40-$50 range. That's about, oh, 30 bucks too much for a game full of minor leaguers anyway. So for $125? Yikes!

We remind you: THE GAMES DON'T FUCKING COUNT!