Monday, February 05, 2007

Now that Peyton's won the big one, who's America's next choker?

This is more The Hater Nation's territory than ours, but we thought we'd chime in.

People seem to enjoy hating on Peyton Manning -- for various reasons, really -- but primarily it seems that his choke jobs in the playoffs and inability to win the Super Bowl got people focusing on the negative. Well, now that Peyton's finger will have some jewelry on it, we can't really hate on him anymore, can we?

Of course, we still can. Peyton's a cracker-ass bitch. See? We just hated on him. (Disclaimer: we've always sorta liked Manning. Sure, his family can go stick a finger up their collective asses. But we admire him for staying at Tennessee for four years).

(Mid-post intermission: We found it funny today that Fox -- which you all know we love so much -- in no way tried to compete with CBS and the Super Bowl. Get this shit, today on Fox rival the game (out West anyway) they were showing Air Bud -- fucking Air Bud! -- followed by Scent of a Woman. Yeah, we'd call that conceding the ratings. Way to score big during Sweeps, Fox.)

Now that we can't call Manning a choke artist any longer, who will take his place? What NFLer will step up during the regular season just to falter when it really counts?

We'll throw out some suggestions, but please feel free to leave your best thoughts in the comments.

-Drew Brees
-Sexy Rexy
-Donovan McNabb
-Blah, blah, guys are soooo much better at this than we are. Please -- please! -- help us out in the comments.

In other news: Florida State beat Duke 68-67 Sunday when the Blue Devils decided to field a starting five from the lacrosse team.


Vegan Viking said...

Matt Hasselbeck? His chokes are so epic they usually start in the first round.

Signal to Noise said...

McNabb. He's got Philly fans and the media spotlight to deal with.

The Feed said...

Marty Schottenheimer has a pretty big lead in this category.
McNabb seems destined to never win in Philly but could be a good end to the story when he takes another team to the title and causes mass suicide by cheesesteak.

Anonymous said...

Has to be Hasselbeck purely because of his massive choke in Green Bay a few years back when during the coin toss the ref's mic picked up Hasselbeck excitedly proclaiming that the Seahawks would like the ball and "we're going to score!" He proceded to throw a pick 6 to Mr. Dreads himself, Al Harris.

Zach Landres-Schnur said...

thanks for bringing that up Anonymous. one of the greatest chokes ever! love hearing that quote nearly as much as Mora's "Playoffs?!"

Signal to Noise said...

Hasselbeck wins. I forgot about that whole overtime bit in GB.

twins15 said...

Grossman would actually have to be decent in the first place to ever be considered a choker, so that effectively rules him out.

Head Chick said...

Not Hasselback out there in the boonies/Seattle. McNabb is probably the best choice. Not only does he have to win, but now he has to erase the memory of Jeff Garcia. But how could you forget about Michael Vick, especially now that he can call his own plays.

NFL Adam said...

McNabb and Hasselbeck are good choices. But you are missing the most obvious, and you don't have to even change families.

KicKnWinG 2 said...

coach- Marty. Player- McNabb. It would be Vick but hes never been good.

Anonymous said...

Well...even though im a Chargers fan...i would have to say LT is the next Manning. Even though he is good...the Chargers are cursed like the Browns (see the Chargers history why) as well as that in the last few years his team died on him when it matters most.

I hope im wrong though.

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