![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaoQTGZTXIYJGmgWABZKmIabFjJZZuRSg5v9iGdu_kc6OL_5q1ys7evzWL65QsK5MiNqcxwhP1Y-vRbzXBzie8GhvhufbDzK6OE1nQsqMuBSV6tQFNaAlNwUjud8cVxjX2qFBi/s400/tiger-woods.jpg)
The Big Picture: Thanks for joining us, Mr. Tiger.
Woods: OK.
TBP: Does anyone ever call you Mr. Tiger?
Woods: Not really.
TBP: Do you think if you ever starred in a porno you'd call yourself Tiger Woody?
Woods: No.
TBP: Do you go by Tiger because Eldrick is a fucking weird name?
Woods: No.
TBP: Modern-day medicine, while wonderful, can still be slow. Don't you think it would have been better if they fixed you like they did that guy who was in a liquid tank in Starship Troopers?
Woods: I never saw that movie.
TBP: Were you afraid they were going to botch the surgery?
Woods: Not really.
TBP: What if they did?
Woods: They didn't.
TBP: Did you go to a Jewish hospital?
Woods: Yes.
TBP: Your Wikipedia page says you are one-quarter Chinese, one-quarter Thai, one-quarter African American, one-eighth Native American, and one-eighth Dutch. Don't you think that's a little far-fetched?
Woods: No.
TBP: Do you know Hines Ward?
Woods: No.
TBP: Are you related?
Woods: No.
TBP: Prostitution is a huge industry in Thailand. Was your mother a hooker?
Woods: I was born in California.
TBP: Was your mother a hooker?
Woods: No.
TBP: I would have sex with your wife. Do you think she would have married you if you weren't rich and famous?
Woods: I'd like to think that even if...
TBP: Be honest.
Woods: I am.
TBP: Does Elin like anal?
Woods: That's' none of your business.
TBP: Do you ever role play and dress up as the Hamburglar while she dresses up as Grimace?
Woods: No.
TBP: Are you flattered that men masturbate to pictures of your wife like all the time?
Woods: A little.
TBP: You're a Buddhist. Were you an oppressive dictator in your previous life?
Woods: No.
TBP: On a scale of one to 10, how much do you want to kill Phil Mickelson?
Woods: I don't want to kill him.
TBP: Thanks for joining us, Tiger. Good luck in your return.
Woods: All right.
2 comments:
Tiger, you really should watch Starship Troopers. Sure, the story is God awful, but the ample tit shots and robotic features of Casper Van Dien more than make up for it.
I agree with GMoney
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