Friday, March 14, 2008

It's times like these where writing a headline becomes challenging

It's been one of those weeks.

We unfortunately had to slam you with "Would you do" posts three days in a row. That's not really our style. We try to objectify women only once a week.

But time and vacation forced our hand. We were trying to get the field of 16 set for the next tourney and we're heading to Arizona for Spring Training, well, now. We're probably on a plane as you're reading this. Even on the East Coast. It's an absurdly early flight.

Anyway, so we bashed out three WYDs just to discover that we only learned how to count to 10. We accidentally ran 17 "Would you do" posts rather than 16.

But don't worry, friends, we'll have our first ever play-in game!

Of course, though, we didn't have to pound you with three WYDs this week. Oh well. Go fuck a bathtub drain.


Vacation! Sort of. We'll be gone until next Wednesday, but you'd never know. Our boy JMC will be filling in Monday, but then we'll pop in from sandy beaches (actually baseball stadiums) where we'll be sipping margaritas. (Actually margaritas, Long Islands, Jack and anything, beer, maybe some wine, paint thinner, Sno Cones).


Lozo is much better at these.


Don't know about you, but we've been wondering how you get the ketchup into the ketchup packet. It's been keeping us up at night. Like how the fuck do they do it? Tube? Assembly line? Magic?


There was a lot of fuss yesterday about The Big Lead revealing its identity. Turns out he's an early 30s, white, freelance writer, which is the demographic of, oh, about 30 other sports bloggers.

Of course the attention is because TBL is a good, popular site. But still...


Seen ads for Buffalo Wild Wings? We've never actually seen one in person, but Buffalo Wild Wings was probably named by a three-year-old.

It's like naming a pizza place Pepperoni Wild Pizza or a Chinese restaurant Mongolian Magic Beef.

Our top-3 TV shows:

1. Lost
2. Family Guy
3. Weeds

Honorable mentions: Heroes, The Office, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Dexter, PTI, College Game Night in March.

And you?


If you keep staring at your clock at work today and it feels like it's been stuck on 1:30, don't fret. Play with this NCAA-related toy that can keep you entertained until about 1:37. Play along with last year's teams, and hey, don't know the difference between a Hilltopper and Jayhawk? Help use it to fill out your bracket on Monday.


Our friends at Stiles Points has a good Q&A with another homie, Derek from Insomniac's Lounge. Derek takes a nice cheap shot in there, so head over and play Where's Waldo to see if you can find it in the long interview.


We're very peaceful and non-confrontational, but something about the gym brings out our most violent thoughts.

If some one practices poor etiquette, we begin thinking how we can sodomize the person with the bench press bar.

Like the other day, we're working (quickly) between two different areas. One is a machine, one is a bench with dumbbells. Since we dont' have a towel to mark our territory and since it's not correct to piss on the machine, we put the dumbbells on the bench to say, "we're still using this. Don't fucking tread, man, or the end of that bench press bar is going to be coming out of your mouth."

So we go use the machine and come back to our marked bench to see that some one is now using it.

We would never act on these violent thoughts, but if that person were to get a flat tire on the way home, well, they deserved it.


We don't ever spend money on filling out a bracket. If we wanted to throw away money, we'd roll up a $10 and light a blunt with it. But we don't throw away money and prefer syringes.

But you have to bet on the Dance. So instead of just filling out a bracket, we essentially have a fantasy draft.

Here's how it works:

-8 people
-Each person drafts 8 teams
-Random draft order and it snakes, like in a normal fantasy draft
-Each win is worth 1 point, no matter the round
-Most total wins (from your 8 teams) is your champion

That make sense? We encourage you do it. If anyone knows a way to do money over the Internet (say, $5?) we could do an online draft (AIM or Gmail) and have our own little pool. Who's organizing it?


Ketchup or Catsup?


Mark said...

re: the gym- I was playing some pickup ball at the Y. Full court, shirts v. skins. One guy refused to take his shirt off. Twice we ended up turning the ball over to him. People kept bitching at him the whole time. If your not man enough to take your shirt off, don't show up at the gym and try to play ball!

Mark said...

btw Seasons 1 & 2 of Weeds >>> Weeds Season 3

Bokolis said...

Take your pick for the play-in matchups: porn girls, threesomes, celebrities or the two fugliest broads.

Except to watch football on Sat or Sun mornings- and ESPNews to fall asleep- I don't watch TV. I'm told that I would like Heroes and 24.

I'm with you on the tourney pools, but I have to do one at morale or some bullshit. The boss runs it, so WTF am I going to do?

Your idea is aces. I don't even think we need to hassle with money. Let the prize be that everybody has to give the winner some type of virtual/cyber rusty trombone.

GMoney said...

Definitely catsup. Enjoy some crappy Giants with more Aaron Rowand!!!

matt said...

Uhhh... nobody's gonna organize a pool, and even if somebody did, does this blog even have 8 readers???? Oh, and nice job giving one of these bullsh*t posts where you put random thoughts that aren't even funny or interesting. Just the kind of quality work I expect from "The Big Picture".

Bokolis said...

BTW, The dude that didn't want to take his shirt off...third nipple...guaran-fucking-teed.

GMoney said...

Alright, matt is back!!! I guess he ran out of kid's to fuck.

JMC said...

I think Matt is the guy who wouldn't take his shirt off

Anonymous said...

uhhh, i saw the pic of the big lead dude, he wasn't white

Anonymous said...

Yeah, he was kinda mulatto or some shit.

Anonymous said...

definitely a brown man