Ted Williams saves Halloween

Never too early to start having Halloween parties. Damn, it'd be fun to celebrate Halloween in April. Who needs an excuse to dress up?

This wonderful costume -- Ted Williams' friggin head! -- comes to us from Unathletic Mag with a bounce pass from With Leather.

The whole cryogenic thing has never really made any sense, but nor has math, so who's to complain? If Williams comes back to life (cryogenic freezing brings people back to life, right? As zombies or something?) he'll come back as the first headless .400 hitter of the steroid era.

Halloween

That's me and fellow Big Picture cumslinger JMC on Halloween. I dressed as Daniel Plainview and JMC went as my son and business partner, H.W. former Niners coach Mike Nolan. He did a bang up job!

We both drank a lot. I think J might have drank less. I got kicked out of the bar for going out the emergency exit. The bouncer was a fucking tool about it, too. Bro, that shit happens to the best of us. Thought it was the patio. Dick.

I don't think JMC got kicked out, but I'm not really sure of anything anymore except that I'm a lightweight and I couldn't eat or drive until 4 p.m. the next day.

By the way, that mustache isn't my version of a Photoshop attempt. It was real. Well, it wasn't real, but it was tangible. It made my face warm as fuck and I got throw up all over it. I think I might have thrown up on the bouncer. That would excuse him from being a total cunt. But I'm pretty sure I didn't, so the bouncer can go shove a flagpole up his ass.

Next year, if I puke milk, I could go as the Monopoly Man.