After two weeks of stories of Jerome Bettis being from Detroit and Joey Porter tasting blood or something, it's time to forget all the nonsense that occurs during the downtime before the Super Bowl and just play the frickin' game already.
It's been so long since we last saw an NFL game (I have been watching the Arena League damn near religiously though) that I forgot what my playoff record was. But the fine gentlemen over at The Hater Nation reminded me that I've been gloating, meaning that my record must be good. So pretty much for all you bettors out there, check here before you place your bets and your get-rich-quick scheme may just pay off.
Here it goes.
Super Bowl XL, Seattle vs. Pittsburgh:
I've considered breaking this game down position by position, but with my attention span rivaling that of a fucking two-year old, I thought better of it.
We know that one quarterback (that big guy from Pittsburgh) has a hideously shaggy beard and enjoys getting fucked up like the frat boy he never was.
On the other side we have a quarterback who secretly begs for hair before each game and hasn't partied since his brother's bachelor party.
One running back is apparently from Detroit, while the Seahawks' main man won an MVP, which may provide him with that necessary bonus money he needs to go seek a good orthodontist.
Both coaches have mustaches (yay!) and each team has a Samoan linebacker who played at USC and will now whoop your ass on the field.
Pittsburgh fans have these dish towels and Seahawks' fans are busy fighting a lawsuit against Texas A&M.
All in all, the teams seem pretty even, Ford Field is supposedly neutral (there will likely be far more Steelers' fans in the house) and neither team has much Super Bowl experience. (Pittsburgh of course has been before, but not with these players, despite ESPN thinking that experience will somehow be a factor).
I have this gut feeling though that it's gonna be Pittsburgh. Couldn't really tell you why, but I think the Steelers just have some intangibles working in their favor. It's just a hunch, but all the games I've picked thus far have been more or less a hunch and I'm unstoppable with my picks!
Feel free to check in with us here at The Big Picture on Super Bowl Sunday to get some live updates -- but no guarantees. Rather than blogging, I may be joining the rest of the world and indulging in artery-clogging food and cheap, piss beer. You'll just have to visit us on gameday to find out.
The Big Picture pick: Pittsburgh 27, Seattle 21
In other news: Mike Martz has broken off contract talks with the Detroit Lions to become their next offensive coordinator because he doesn't like Matt Millen's moustache.
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