Some guys are into a girl who loves sports. She'll watch the ballgame with you, talk strategy with you over Grilled Salmon and Pilaf and bang you while wearing a football jersey.I am not one of those guys. Hearing a chick talk about sports is about as much of a turnoff as unshaven armpits after a trip to the gym.
And it doesn't stem from the, "A girl should be girlie and talk about shopping and makeup and Rachel Getting Married" argument. It more comes from the fact that I have a hard time telling a girl she's fucking wrong.
I was talking to one of my girlfriend's friends the other night. The Giants game was on and I was watching closely. The friend then starts saying how frustrating it is when the Giants keep giving up so many runs and the offense better keep up this offensive output if they want to compete in the AL West. And it's a good thing Sandoval's been pitching well lately.
BITCH, YOU ARE WRONG! (I smiled and nodded my head).
It's nice that a girl wants to keep up, but dammit, I know far too much about sports to be talking to a girl about it. (Eeesh, did I just go there).
In all fairness, there are women who know sports well and can talk a good game. I've never met this woman, but I'm sure she exists outside of REM sleep.
The girls I know -- even the ones dubbed "sports fans" -- just can't keep up, though. And I don't expect them to. I've wasted more days, years and living-room furniture over sports than I care to think about. Girls just don't have that sorta time. They have to paint their toenails and shit.
I'm an asshole and I have no idea how to talk to girls. That's already established. But I really don't know how to talk to a girl about sports. Because it's frustrating for me to hear about UNC's historic football program, how Brett Favre will do good things this year for the Packers and how maybe this will be the Royals' year.
Sweetheart, this won't be the Royals' year. Why don't you go watch The Notebook and make some crab cakes?
[I'm never going to have sex again.]
