An interview with Tyler Hansbrough

Tyler Hansbrough made ACC history Monday as the first player in the conference's history to be unanimously selected four times to the all-conference team. This doesn't change the fact that he kinda sucks.

The Big Picture: Thanks for joining us, Tyler.
Hansbrough: Sure. Great to be here.

TBP: Does anyone call you Ty?
Hansbrough: No.

TBP: When people call you Ty, is that confusing?
Hansbrough: I just said that no one calls me that.

TBP: Do people confuse you with Ty Lawson?
Hansbrough: No.
TBP: Is it because you guys look sort of similar?
Hansbrough: I don't think you're listening to me.

TBP: The ACC is a strong conference. Don't you think that Clemson coach Oliver Purnell looks like Louis Gossett Jr.?
Hansbrough: I don't know who that is.
TBP: ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?!
Hansbrough: Yes.

TBP: Did you see Toy Soldiers?
Hansbrough: No.
TBP: There's that part where a bunch of dudes call one of those sex phone numbers. How often do you do that?
Hansbrough: I've never done that.

TBP: Do you masturbate to yourself in the mirror?
Hansbrough: No.

TBP: People call you Psycho-T. Don't you think that sounds like a band that would be like a worse version of Metallica that spends too much money on the sets at their live shows?
Hansbrough: Maybe.

TBP: Do you make girls call you Psycho-T when you're having sex?
Hansbrough: No.
TBP: Really?
Hansbrough: Yes.

TBP: Roy Williams seems like kind of an asshole. Do you think his ancestors were slave owners?
Hansbrough: Absolutely not.

TBP: Do you take offense to the Facebook groups titled Euthanize Tyler Hansbrough and Hansbrough Eats Babies?
Hansbrough: I have a thick skin.

TBP: Do you eat babies?
Hansbrough: No.
TBP: What about with barbecue sauce?
Hansbrough: No.

TBP: What do you say to people who say you resemble a mentally handicapped mannequin?
Hansbrough: No one's ever said that to me until now.

TBP: If you had to have sex with a dead person, tree or mentally handicapped mannequin, which would you choose?
Hansbrough: Would the dead person be hot?
TBP: Probably not.
Hansbrough: The dead person.

TBP: Some mock drafts have you going to Sacramento towards the end of the first round. Are you afraid that you might get shanked by Francisco Garcia?
Hansbrough: No.

TBP: Bobby Frasor's gay, right?
Hansbrough: I don't know.

TBP: Are you and Tyler Zeller brothers?
Hansbrough: No.

TBP: Ben Hansbrough is your younger brother. When you were little did you ever make him dress up like Raggady Ann?
Hansbrough: No.

TBP: Thanks for joining us, Ty. Good luck in the NCAA Tournament.
Hansbrough: Thank you.