'I'd hit that'

We haven't mentioned Ron Mexico for a while. In fact, the last time we did was when Lil' Mexico, known outside of adultery circles as Marcus Vick, was pulling guns over at the local Mickey D's.

But while perusing Every Day Should be Saturday, we came across the link for Ron Mexico.com, a great website with wonderful merchandise that you should all go buy in bulk.

While checking the site, we noticed a feature where you could type in your name -- or any name, for that matter -- and you'd get your very own Ron Mexico alias. Just like that. You too can mess around with a cheap ho and contract herpes.

So naturally, we dicked (get it?) around for a while and this is the gold we found:

Real Name/Alias:

-Peyton Manning/Maximillian Micronesia
-Marcus Vick/Hank Bosnia
-George Bush/Jorge Iceland
-Barry Bonds/Rod Paraguay
-Michael Jordan/Xavier Saint Vincent and the Grenadines
-Zach Landres-Schnur/Pavel Andorra

Two things can go without saying, but we'll say them anyway:

1. This is the greatest web feature since the invention of porn.
2. We will now be signing our posts, Pavel Andorra.

-Pavel Andorra

Pavel is the alias for Zach Landres-Schnur. He uses the name when he does strange shit with shady chicks.